Facebook

Facebook is dead. I’m calling it. Facebook has finally reached total and complete market saturation. It’s now a noun as well as a verb. I remember being on myspace, before they let teens on, and it was pretty cool. I could add some friends here and there, whatever. I was too old and out of school to get on facebook so it served my needs to flirt with girls and well, flirt with girls.

Then facebook let everyone in. Holy shit, it was like the world was brand new again. I was finally allowed into this awesome night club that was so exclusive and awesome and well, it was kind of like myspace. Minus the 12 year olds with horrible, browser-crashing css skins and sparkles and auto-playing P.O.D. songs.

Don’t get me wrong, Facebook is wonderful and clean and brilliantly coded. It has allowed me to find every single ex-girlfriend I’ve ever had back to junior high. I have found people I used to work with a decade ago. Hell, even my mom is on facebook.

Over a year or so, I accumulated a few hundred “friends” in my arsenal. You know how many I actually give a flying fuck about? 10. Maybe 11. Why do people have the need to add someone they sort of know and never even talk to them again. Is it some hunter gatherer thing? Are they afraid that if they don’t add them, then and there, that they will lose the chance to add them forever?

I’ve realized that a lot of the people I’ve added and sort of attempted to rekindle the past with and find out what they are up to now; I really could care less in the first place. Great, you got married and look just like you did in highschool, just… puffier and never left your hometown. Yes, yes I would love to continue being friends with you even though we barely spoke a word towards eachother 10 years ago.

Facebook is kind of cool to fuck around with your friends and call them faggots and homos when they post a photo of themselves passed out on the floor but other than that, if I want to interact with my friends, I will get in my car and go to their house, or see them at a show, or pick up my phone and give them a call. You know… real world interaction. Imagine that.

I bid thee farewell facebook. It’s already started to happen. The spammers and evil apps and 12 year olds have already infiltrated your ivory castle more and more. I’m giving it a year until we find a new cleaner and more exclusive nightclub.

Hell, maybe friendster will finally make a comeback.