God I Hate Christmas

I am hereby declaring that I don’t ever want another present from anyone ever again. I don’t want clothes or books or photos, toys, trinkets, car parts et al. If you have something you really want to give me where you sunk in more than 30 seconds of thought into it, give it to me on any day other than December 25th.

Christmas has become such a bullshit convoluted hallmark holiday nowadays. It’s even become cliché to say that christmas is bullshit that that is bullshit to even say now. People all become zombies with one thought in their head to stumble to the mall in a frantic rush to “buy something, ANYTHING!” for people on their list. It’s not even like they know why they are buying, they just HAVE TO BUY something or they will be incomplete or piss someone off.

There is just the need to “finish” their list. Crossing names off, one by one, until they are finally finished so they can then wrap said presents, give them and then breathe that massive sigh of relief that they “survived christmas”. What makes you think that you survived? You wouldn’t have to feel that way if your stupid ass didn’t make yourself rush around and buy buy buy in the first place.

I just don’t understand the concept. Ok, overlooking the fact that jesus wasn’t even born on christmas, that the 25th of december was chosen to replace the date of the birth of the sun god Mithras by the christians blah blah blah… ok, WHY the presents? Why, especially the mall? Maybe I’m just an art fag but why do you celebrate the “birth of christ” by giving your loved one a North Face windbreaker? Why does the mall contain the answer to making everyone of your loved ones happy? Fuck, I haven’t talked to one single person this week that said they had a great christmas. Anyone see a problem with that? I have to get up, rush to open presents with my wife, then go to some parent’s house, give them gifts, then go to another parent’s house and repeat and then finally go home. I drove 250 miles in 24 hours this christmas. That isn’t enjoyable. That fucking sucks. And I’ve been doing this since I had a drivers license. Every single fucking year.

I suppose I get my hopes up I guess. I have never asked a single soul what they want for christmas or their birthdays etc. I have a feeling that with the people I know, if they wanted something, they would go out and buy it. It’s as simple as that. If I give you a gift, I absolutely, positively know you will like it and usually it won’t be something you buy from the mall because I probably made it or I just know you and what you like.

But then when I tell people that I don’t want anything I still get stuff and most of the time, it’s stuff I don’t really need. Now I know some of you readers probably got me stuff this christmas so don’t go getting all bent out of shape. This is a generalized statement here. The point I’m trying to make is that the whole present thing is sort of gay. Why can’t we just have a nice meal somewhere? Or look at old photos or how about you tell me a story I’ve never heard before? I will enjoy that more than a shirt I’ll stop wearing after a year. Let’s go on a trip. Let’s experience something where when retelling the story, “last christmas” will be in the dialogue.

Maybe I don’t have the “holiday spirit” but I hereby refuse to have the “holiday spirit” if it continues on like this. It’s fake and bullshit and just leaves a nasty taste in my mouth come the 26th and then I’m stuck feeling like shit until spring.