I would first like to shift the blame of my out-of-shapedness to both Kate and everyone who interacts with me on a daily basis. What is the world coming to where everyone is afraid of pissing people off so they never speak their minds?
I'm a fatty. I mean, I'm not fat all around but the absolute center of my body is completely out of shape and I'm a little peeved that no one has pulled me aside and told me to my face that I look like a fat out of shape bastard.
I blame you. Is it that hard to belittle me to my face for 30 seconds so I do something about it than to just not say anything and watch me become a gross shell of a man?
Anyways, I started Project: Cut the Fat yesterday which consisted of me eating a sensible salad for lunch, some salad and some soup for dinner and a rousing 45-minute session of cardio after work. This morning, I got up 30 minutes early and did cardio again. My body hurts. I'm an all-or-nothing kind of guy so don't give me any lip about starting off slow. I'm in this for body damage people. I stretched for a good 42 seconds before running in place and doing the situps and jumping jacks this morning so there.
I'm 30. I should be in good health, have a voracious sexual apatite and be able to go out and run 10 miles but instead, I eat junkfood, watch movies in my spare time and the only exercise I get is the occasional turning of the socket wrench.
I used to be the epitome of health. I was a cross country runner. I rollerbladed a good 15-20 miles a week. I once wore a size 28. *sigh
Anyways, here's to getting healthy. Fuck being lazy anymore. It's time to enjoy life again and who knows how much time I have left anyways so I might as well get the fun shit in before I die of something horribly depressing down the road.
*eyes box of doughnuts on office table
I'm a fatty. I mean, I'm not fat all around but the absolute center of my body is completely out of shape and I'm a little peeved that no one has pulled me aside and told me to my face that I look like a fat out of shape bastard.
I blame you. Is it that hard to belittle me to my face for 30 seconds so I do something about it than to just not say anything and watch me become a gross shell of a man?
Anyways, I started Project: Cut the Fat yesterday which consisted of me eating a sensible salad for lunch, some salad and some soup for dinner and a rousing 45-minute session of cardio after work. This morning, I got up 30 minutes early and did cardio again. My body hurts. I'm an all-or-nothing kind of guy so don't give me any lip about starting off slow. I'm in this for body damage people. I stretched for a good 42 seconds before running in place and doing the situps and jumping jacks this morning so there.
I'm 30. I should be in good health, have a voracious sexual apatite and be able to go out and run 10 miles but instead, I eat junkfood, watch movies in my spare time and the only exercise I get is the occasional turning of the socket wrench.
I used to be the epitome of health. I was a cross country runner. I rollerbladed a good 15-20 miles a week. I once wore a size 28. *sigh
Anyways, here's to getting healthy. Fuck being lazy anymore. It's time to enjoy life again and who knows how much time I have left anyways so I might as well get the fun shit in before I die of something horribly depressing down the road.
*eyes box of doughnuts on office table
...
