I'm not one to get all nerdy and what not but...
1 Comments Published by JKREW on Thursday, November 30, 2006 at 7:44 PM.
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/stp/242169641.html
*** CL got pulled... bastards! ***
Personal Assistant needed ASAP!
Hi, my name is Jason and I am in dire need of a personal assistant.
I have recently started up my own advertising business and am extremely out of time to do many of my daily routines that need to get done.
Job responsibilities will include but aren't limited to the following:
• waking me up if I hit the snooze bar more than two times.
• preparing my daily outfit for me to wear on a day to day basis.
• providing a reasonable excuse for my me when my girlfriend/mother calls and asks where I am when I am in fact sleeping in my bed.
• playing with my dog after I have exhausted my patience of "toss the chewman" after 149 tosses.
• provide me with someone to talk to when I have had too many beers.
• enforcing payment collection from my clients if they have lapsed the 30 day time period of due process. Experience with organized crime, aluminum bats and general "thugery" is a plus but not mandatory.
• errand running throughout the day which may or may not include:
- lunch getting
- coffee getting
- snack getting
- dinner getting
• provide motivational speeches when I'm down and emo.
Now, being how I have a serious girlfriend with jealousy issues, I suppose I can accept resumes from males but a female candidate is preferred as I just don't get along with many guys in general. A history of lesbian role playing, lingerie modeling or tickle fighting whilst wearing lingerie is a gladly accepted trait.
I am located in sunny Reston, VA just minutes off of the toll road and beltway. Free food and snacks are based on the availability of said items in my kitchen. Secure parking in front of my house is available on a first come first served basis.
I can provide absolutely no guarantee for school credit for this position but I'm pretty good at lying to school officials so you never know. There will be no financial compensation as well but the chance to become an integral part of my life should be enough motivation to apply for this position in itself.
Please mail me your resume along with two letters of recommendation as well as an assorted collection of photos of yourself so our review board (me and my dog) can easier narrow down the candidates.
*** CL got pulled... bastards! ***
Personal Assistant needed ASAP!
Hi, my name is Jason and I am in dire need of a personal assistant.
I have recently started up my own advertising business and am extremely out of time to do many of my daily routines that need to get done.
Job responsibilities will include but aren't limited to the following:
• waking me up if I hit the snooze bar more than two times.
• preparing my daily outfit for me to wear on a day to day basis.
• providing a reasonable excuse for my me when my girlfriend/mother calls and asks where I am when I am in fact sleeping in my bed.
• playing with my dog after I have exhausted my patience of "toss the chewman" after 149 tosses.
• provide me with someone to talk to when I have had too many beers.
• enforcing payment collection from my clients if they have lapsed the 30 day time period of due process. Experience with organized crime, aluminum bats and general "thugery" is a plus but not mandatory.
• errand running throughout the day which may or may not include:
- lunch getting
- coffee getting
- snack getting
- dinner getting
• provide motivational speeches when I'm down and emo.
Now, being how I have a serious girlfriend with jealousy issues, I suppose I can accept resumes from males but a female candidate is preferred as I just don't get along with many guys in general. A history of lesbian role playing, lingerie modeling or tickle fighting whilst wearing lingerie is a gladly accepted trait.
I am located in sunny Reston, VA just minutes off of the toll road and beltway. Free food and snacks are based on the availability of said items in my kitchen. Secure parking in front of my house is available on a first come first served basis.
I can provide absolutely no guarantee for school credit for this position but I'm pretty good at lying to school officials so you never know. There will be no financial compensation as well but the chance to become an integral part of my life should be enough motivation to apply for this position in itself.
Please mail me your resume along with two letters of recommendation as well as an assorted collection of photos of yourself so our review board (me and my dog) can easier narrow down the candidates.
I know I have to be at least 67% gay to really really like this song but I blame it on her curls.
So... hard to look away... like a buglight... can't stop watching... bounce... nipples...
Why, www.michaelschwab.com why?
Oldy but still funny =)
A single scream, recorded for the 1951 film "Distant Drums," has made its way into dozens of films, games and TV shows. Afficianados call it the "Wilhelm Scream" and have cataloged many of the films in which it appeared, from Hercules to Pirates of the Caribbean, The X-Files to the short "Golden Dreams" film at Disney California Adventure.
Newt Gingrich has called for America to tear up the Constitution and throw out the first amendment, because free speech helps terrorism.
Gingrich, speaking at a Manchester awards banquet, said a "different set of rules" may be needed to reduce terrorists' ability to use the Internet and free speech to recruit and get out their message.
Click me
Gingrich, speaking at a Manchester awards banquet, said a "different set of rules" may be needed to reduce terrorists' ability to use the Internet and free speech to recruit and get out their message.
Click me
Kind of cool yet creepy yet depressing all at the same time.
(I know the video is old but here is a new version with extra footage in the beginning)
(I know the video is old but here is a new version with extra footage in the beginning)
For all you's making dem comments
0 Comments Published by JKREW on Tuesday, November 28, 2006 at 3:59 PM.
I had to add a word verification thingamabob due to some craptastic spam on the blog. Sorry for making you waste yet more seconds from your lives in order to reply on here hahaha
xoxo,
krew
xoxo,
krew
Has anyone ever noticed that the only time you see little people is when Christmas times comes around? I mean seriously... day to day, how many little people do you see on the street or at starbucks or at the mall? But then along come the holidays and whenever there is a Santa peddling his wares on TV, he is almost ALWAYS accompanied by a happy little elf.
I feel bad for those lil' guys. Seriously, how bad would it suck if the only jobs available to you are playing Santa's elves during Christmas time. Or being a carni but I digress.
I feel bad for those lil' guys. Seriously, how bad would it suck if the only jobs available to you are playing Santa's elves during Christmas time. Or being a carni but I digress.
The producers of An Inconvenient Truth have offered to supply American classrooms with 50,000 copies of the movie free of charge. That offer has been rejected by the National Science Teachers Association (NSTA), the nation's leading science education teachers group, citing a risk to funding from key financial supporters.
One of those supporters is Exxon-Mobil.
The news was buried deep in the Washington Post website and reported by Laurie David, a producer of the film and founder of StopGlobalWarming.org
In their e-mail rejection, they (NSTA) expressed concern that other "special interests" might ask to distribute materials, too; they said they didn't want to offer "political" endorsement of the film; and they saw "little, if any, benefit to NSTA or its members" in accepting the free DVDs.
Gore, however, is not running for office, and the film's theatrical run is long since over. As for classroom benefits, the movie has been enthusiastically endorsed by leading climate scientists worldwide, and is required viewing for all students in Norway and Sweden.
Still, maybe the NSTA just being extra cautious. But there was one more curious argument in the e-mail: Accepting the DVDs, they wrote, would place "unnecessary risk upon the [NSTA] capital campaign, especially certain targeted supporters." One of those supporters, it turns out, is the Exxon Mobil Corp.
Oil industry supporters will be quick to endorse the decision, agreeing that An Inconvenient Truth does indeed represent a special interest. What they will conveniently ignore is that unlike industry friendly messages pushed into the curriculum, An Inconvenient Truth is based on, and endorsed by, objective science - the very subject the National Science Teachers Association says it promotes.
One of those supporters is Exxon-Mobil.
The news was buried deep in the Washington Post website and reported by Laurie David, a producer of the film and founder of StopGlobalWarming.org
In their e-mail rejection, they (NSTA) expressed concern that other "special interests" might ask to distribute materials, too; they said they didn't want to offer "political" endorsement of the film; and they saw "little, if any, benefit to NSTA or its members" in accepting the free DVDs.
Gore, however, is not running for office, and the film's theatrical run is long since over. As for classroom benefits, the movie has been enthusiastically endorsed by leading climate scientists worldwide, and is required viewing for all students in Norway and Sweden.
Still, maybe the NSTA just being extra cautious. But there was one more curious argument in the e-mail: Accepting the DVDs, they wrote, would place "unnecessary risk upon the [NSTA] capital campaign, especially certain targeted supporters." One of those supporters, it turns out, is the Exxon Mobil Corp.
Oil industry supporters will be quick to endorse the decision, agreeing that An Inconvenient Truth does indeed represent a special interest. What they will conveniently ignore is that unlike industry friendly messages pushed into the curriculum, An Inconvenient Truth is based on, and endorsed by, objective science - the very subject the National Science Teachers Association says it promotes.
Yeah, that has to be healthy...
Top 10 Reasons Gay Marriage Should Be Illegal
01) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
02) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
03) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
04) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all like many of the principles on which this great country was founded; women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
05) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of marriages like Britney Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
06) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren’t full yet, and the world needs more children.
07) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
08) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.
09) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.
And before you get on about U2 and Green Day (*cough Rob), really just watch the video. Pretty fucking cool.
Hooray for not being married yet!
6 Comments Published by JKREW on Wednesday, November 22, 2006 at 5:12 PM.
If it's too cold out to play with cars, then move the activities indoors I always say.
JKREW: I got office suppliez today
Macaroni: office suppliez?
JKREW: plus a dry erase board so you know I'm serious
Macaroni: oh shit
I got a huge white board in my room
JKREW: but not the big one because I'm only 66% serious
Macaroni: right
mine is huge
JKREW: but I did get envelopes and a planner book with kittens just to show the client I have a softer side
Macaroni: and full of all the shit I gatta do
nice@
JKREW: yeah dude, I'm totally a business now. I just need one of those motivational posters with a kitten hanging on a tree limb and a coffee mug saying "how can I fly with the eagles when I work with so many turkeys"
Macaroni: office suppliez?
JKREW: plus a dry erase board so you know I'm serious
Macaroni: oh shit
I got a huge white board in my room
JKREW: but not the big one because I'm only 66% serious
Macaroni: right
mine is huge
JKREW: but I did get envelopes and a planner book with kittens just to show the client I have a softer side
Macaroni: and full of all the shit I gatta do
nice@
JKREW: yeah dude, I'm totally a business now. I just need one of those motivational posters with a kitten hanging on a tree limb and a coffee mug saying "how can I fly with the eagles when I work with so many turkeys"
The 25 Funniest Analogies (Collected by High School English Teachers)
0 Comments Published by JKREW on at 12:33 PM.
These were taken from actual high school essays and collected by English teachers across the country for their own amusement.
1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a ThighMaster.
2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.
5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.
8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.
9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.
10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.
12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan’s teeth.
16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.
18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut.
19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.
25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a ThighMaster.
2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.
5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.
8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.
9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.
10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.
12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan’s teeth.
16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.
18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut.
19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.
25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
Just fast forward to the spot. This was the best quality ad I could find that wasn't age blocked on youtube.
Sort of not safe for work I guess?
Sort of not safe for work I guess?
Wow, what a week. (lots of "w"s there <---). Um, anyways, I feel like I've been going crazy lately with all the shit going on. I need to finally take out that ad in craigslist for an intern.
Anyhoo, jkrate is going smashingly. Like you all didn't know, iminurtwebsite is a huge success for time wasting! Special thanks to macaroni for getting it perfect with the code. Got linked on a few pages and hit close to 50k+ yesterday and google analytics is 12 hours behind so we will see more tomorrow hopefully =)
jkrate (I really need to decide what standard we will use for spelling the name out as JKREW is all caps and jkrate looks stupid with a cap. J, lowercase k so maybe jkrate will be all lowercase from now on...) moving on, we got the green light to redo http://angleinc.com/ which will be HUGE for us this year. A great way to close out 2006.
I got smoked by a minivan today. On my way from starbucks, this soccermom in a burgundy montero drove up next to me, smiled and then WALKED ME. It was so sad. By the time I stepped on it, she was 10 lengths ahead of me hahahaha oh well.
Kate and I also had a rocky patch last week for all of you who believe we never fight and just make out all the time. I was waiting for it to happen but not that badly. I guess after two years of perfection, you have to have a little shit in there to even things out I guess. It was quite difficult to get through on my end because, I have to admit, I haven't fought in a relationship since I was dating the ex almost 3 years ago (fuck it's been a long time hahaha). The ex and I would fight at least once a week over bullshit and especially due to the fact that I couldn't trust her as far as I could throw her. She always had a knack for finding attention elsewhere and when my brain started wandering about kate, it began to rear it's ugly head again for a quick cameo appearance last week. Lame. Why am I airing my dirty laundry my blog? Beats me. I dunno, it just tells me that kate and I are human, shit happens, you either work through it or you don't. We did and I love her a bazillion times more than before.
Or maybe it's the same amount of love, I could have just forgotten how much she meant to me a little until now.
I'm listening to the Rocky IV soundtrack right now and it's making me want to find a sandbag or two to lift on my shoulders and run up a mountain. Good times. Eye of the motherfucking tiger.
Thanksgiving is tomorrow. I will spend it drinking copious amounts of hooch and crawling around in my attic wiring up the new media center I got this past week. I'm stoked. I will be able to watch any movie I want in any bedroom in the house in HD and optical audio quality just by touching a few buttons. HUZZAH.
But that's about it I suppose. Everyone who's driving, be safe! No big fights at the dinner table!
Anyhoo, jkrate is going smashingly. Like you all didn't know, iminurtwebsite is a huge success for time wasting! Special thanks to macaroni for getting it perfect with the code. Got linked on a few pages and hit close to 50k+ yesterday and google analytics is 12 hours behind so we will see more tomorrow hopefully =)
jkrate (I really need to decide what standard we will use for spelling the name out as JKREW is all caps and jkrate looks stupid with a cap. J, lowercase k so maybe jkrate will be all lowercase from now on...) moving on, we got the green light to redo http://angleinc.com/ which will be HUGE for us this year. A great way to close out 2006.
I got smoked by a minivan today. On my way from starbucks, this soccermom in a burgundy montero drove up next to me, smiled and then WALKED ME. It was so sad. By the time I stepped on it, she was 10 lengths ahead of me hahahaha oh well.
Kate and I also had a rocky patch last week for all of you who believe we never fight and just make out all the time. I was waiting for it to happen but not that badly. I guess after two years of perfection, you have to have a little shit in there to even things out I guess. It was quite difficult to get through on my end because, I have to admit, I haven't fought in a relationship since I was dating the ex almost 3 years ago (fuck it's been a long time hahaha). The ex and I would fight at least once a week over bullshit and especially due to the fact that I couldn't trust her as far as I could throw her. She always had a knack for finding attention elsewhere and when my brain started wandering about kate, it began to rear it's ugly head again for a quick cameo appearance last week. Lame. Why am I airing my dirty laundry my blog? Beats me. I dunno, it just tells me that kate and I are human, shit happens, you either work through it or you don't. We did and I love her a bazillion times more than before.
Or maybe it's the same amount of love, I could have just forgotten how much she meant to me a little until now.
I'm listening to the Rocky IV soundtrack right now and it's making me want to find a sandbag or two to lift on my shoulders and run up a mountain. Good times. Eye of the motherfucking tiger.
Thanksgiving is tomorrow. I will spend it drinking copious amounts of hooch and crawling around in my attic wiring up the new media center I got this past week. I'm stoked. I will be able to watch any movie I want in any bedroom in the house in HD and optical audio quality just by touching a few buttons. HUZZAH.
But that's about it I suppose. Everyone who's driving, be safe! No big fights at the dinner table!
50,494 page views yesterday =)
I would really like this cat
2 Comments Published by JKREW on Tuesday, November 21, 2006 at 7:35 PM.
If you know of any baby tabbies who need a home, hook a brother up.
Must be tiny so I can acclimate him to my husky/shephard/mutt-dog though.
Thanks!
Good ole www.doubleviking.com gave www.iminurwebsite.com the link up on the front page!
Ahhh, being a whore is a good thing =)
I am so going to order this tomorrow...
2 Comments Published by JKREW on Monday, November 20, 2006 at 4:09 PM.
(the inside is super secret though)
Also, thanks to everyone who made the latest business pitch go through!!!
Wow, possible 5 figure client HOORAYZ!
I may have to actually pay Macaroni with cash instead of car parts and hugs now =)
so http://www.iminurwebsite.com had 7,000 page views on friday.
Without telling ANYONE about it other than on my blog which doesn't even come close to that kind fo traffic.
*giggles*
Without telling ANYONE about it other than on my blog which doesn't even come close to that kind fo traffic.
*giggles*
I would totally swim in that thing
0 Comments Published by JKREW on Friday, November 17, 2006 at 11:38 AM.
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/bar/235892261.html
Dear Sir,
My name is Jason Patrick. I am a legal attorney practicing in northern virginia. Mind telling me a little more about what happened to you?
Regards,
Jason Patrick, Attorney at Law
Patrick, Cochran, Catchem and Eadum
Dear Sir,
My name is Jason Patrick. I am a legal attorney practicing in northern virginia. Mind telling me a little more about what happened to you?
Regards,
Jason Patrick, Attorney at Law
Patrick, Cochran, Catchem and Eadum
Guess what I'm having for dinner?
Newcastle. Yup. Beat that.
Newcastle. Yup. Beat that.
but it's live nonetheless!
http://iminurwebsite.com/
Again, props to Macaroni for the backend *giggles*. It's got some bugs to hash out but it will be the GREATEST WEBSITE OF ALL TIME.
http://iminurwebsite.com/
Again, props to Macaroni for the backend *giggles*. It's got some bugs to hash out but it will be the GREATEST WEBSITE OF ALL TIME.
As you all know, I have this girlfriend. Her name is Kate. She has a black woman's ass which is nice because I've never really appreciated the ass before her so yeah. Ass = good. Yay.
Now to my point. I was sitting on the couch last night thinking to myself "Jason" I said, "Kate is a pretty dope girlfriend dude. You should write about her tomorrow because that would be nice." And well, here I am.
Kate is pretty much, well, ok, is the only girl who has ever really grounded me like how I am now. I think I would fall apart without her and I really appreciate it. I dunno, I'm rambling because it's hella early and the caffeine hasn't kicked in yet. I'm not scared when I'm with her. This whole business thing in reality should be making me crap myself but it's not because of her.
It's nice to go to meetings with her or to tell her to get her lazy ass over to the conversation because we're talking about her side of the business and need a quote (slackass motherfucker!).
It's nice to just run to the bedroom when we get home like we always do and just spoon. The bed to us has a completely different use than most people use it for. It's just this piece of furniture that we can crawl under and become warm through each others body heat and just relax and nap and wake up and become entangled with each other. So yeah, I'm telling you, if you aren't an avid spooner, I say get on that shit. Call me a little bitch if you want but I wouldn't trade it for the world.
Get in a fight? Go spoon it out. Easy peasy.
I have no idea where I'm going with this. A) Tenacious D is blasting in my headphones which is kind of distracting me to write a 100% sappy post (which is good I think. I'll spare the readers right?) and B) This latté it totally slacking this morning.
So in conclusion, Kate, I love you. You rock my ass.
Now to my point. I was sitting on the couch last night thinking to myself "Jason" I said, "Kate is a pretty dope girlfriend dude. You should write about her tomorrow because that would be nice." And well, here I am.
Kate is pretty much, well, ok, is the only girl who has ever really grounded me like how I am now. I think I would fall apart without her and I really appreciate it. I dunno, I'm rambling because it's hella early and the caffeine hasn't kicked in yet. I'm not scared when I'm with her. This whole business thing in reality should be making me crap myself but it's not because of her.
It's nice to go to meetings with her or to tell her to get her lazy ass over to the conversation because we're talking about her side of the business and need a quote (slackass motherfucker!).
It's nice to just run to the bedroom when we get home like we always do and just spoon. The bed to us has a completely different use than most people use it for. It's just this piece of furniture that we can crawl under and become warm through each others body heat and just relax and nap and wake up and become entangled with each other. So yeah, I'm telling you, if you aren't an avid spooner, I say get on that shit. Call me a little bitch if you want but I wouldn't trade it for the world.
Get in a fight? Go spoon it out. Easy peasy.
I have no idea where I'm going with this. A) Tenacious D is blasting in my headphones which is kind of distracting me to write a 100% sappy post (which is good I think. I'll spare the readers right?) and B) This latté it totally slacking this morning.
So in conclusion, Kate, I love you. You rock my ass.
fwiw, and i know you might delete this entry/not post it, but fuck the ppl saying it's 199mb. I saw the html, and thought "mmkay, not someone who knows how to build websites", and that was said a bit less eloquently on the design board, but as you stated yourself, it's being re-done. So fuck 'em and their law. And case studies are for 200+ ppl web agencies. Are you one of them? Nope. So don't worry about it.
I have been overwhelmed by the response and mail I've been getting re: jkrate, it's design and purpose et al. Thanks folks, it really cheered me up. I guess it just goes to show that the first instinct is the best one.
p.s. and props for the Prodigy reference. *wink* xoxoxo
I have been overwhelmed by the response and mail I've been getting re: jkrate, it's design and purpose et al. Thanks folks, it really cheered me up. I guess it just goes to show that the first instinct is the best one.
p.s. and props for the Prodigy reference. *wink* xoxoxo
Too cocky? *giggles*
Today is kind of weird. I'm sort of pissed off at everything.
1. I have this neighbor below me for whom I call the Colonel. I have no idea if he is a Colonel or not. All I know is that he was a Marine and now I pay for his retirement out of my taxes. Anyway, he is what some may call a "mans man". Total sexist pig. Goes out on weeknights to chat up the ladies yet comes home alone. Lives alone. No kids. Never married. Hoo motherfucking rah.
Anyways, the colonel decided in September that he would rather write a three page letter to the board of directors of the condo development regarding every single thing I have done in the past 7 years that could be seen as a bending of the rules instead of just being a good neighbor and talking to me like a man.
So, of course he sent the letter to the board who in turn tore my ass out for running an extension cord to my car to vacuum it. I mean, it was fine when the colonel paid my neighbor to do the same thing and clean his car but when I do it, it's illegal. He also complained about me storing tires above my car. Even though I had been doing it for HALF A DECADE before he started to complain.
And lastly, he blamed me for some random wood that was stored above my car (that was there before I even moved in.) Well, I moved the tires, stopped working on the car et al, but left the wood there. He complained again. And again. So I removed the wood (even though it belonged to god knows who.)
So, in closing, this fucking senile douche killed a 7 year friendship over petty items that could have been fixed without an overdramatic letter which in turn got me and my step pop in trouble. If he gives me one more complaint, I am going to seriously start a war. Why? Because I hold grudges and I hate old people who sell me out.
2) I miss my car. End of story.
3) Today, people started to give me shit about jkrate on a design messageboard. Albeit it being 199 megs large (which I am fully aware of and am fixing this week with the help of the dreamboy Macaroni.) But still, they really kind of pissed me off with their comments about the site.
So now I have minor doubts about:
- Does it get the message across to the client
- Is the gray distracting/non readable
- Does it look professional
- Will it generate business
I hate doubting my design decisions sometimes. It's difficult to get in the head of both the designer AND the client but I think if you are able to do that, then you will really succeed in this business. I feel the site serves it's purpose and leaves out 99% of the gimmicky bullshit that is flooding every other design firms site out there.
• I don't give a fuck about design strategy and I sure as shit don't want to try and explain it on a website. If I couldn't design, I wouldn't be trying to sell my services. I've survived this long, I think I have a grasp on it.
• I don't care about case studies. I don't know of a single designer who will just do "one piece" for a client. And if you can't upsell a client on numerous pieces then you both a crap seller and a crap designer. In my eyes, every client has the potential to be buy an entire campaign from me. Not just one website.
• What do clients want? They want to make money from the money they spend. They want to look good while doing it and most importantly, every single client on earth wants one thing: to impress their boss. That's my job. I will create something for you that will impress your boss. Done.
1. I have this neighbor below me for whom I call the Colonel. I have no idea if he is a Colonel or not. All I know is that he was a Marine and now I pay for his retirement out of my taxes. Anyway, he is what some may call a "mans man". Total sexist pig. Goes out on weeknights to chat up the ladies yet comes home alone. Lives alone. No kids. Never married. Hoo motherfucking rah.
Anyways, the colonel decided in September that he would rather write a three page letter to the board of directors of the condo development regarding every single thing I have done in the past 7 years that could be seen as a bending of the rules instead of just being a good neighbor and talking to me like a man.
So, of course he sent the letter to the board who in turn tore my ass out for running an extension cord to my car to vacuum it. I mean, it was fine when the colonel paid my neighbor to do the same thing and clean his car but when I do it, it's illegal. He also complained about me storing tires above my car. Even though I had been doing it for HALF A DECADE before he started to complain.
And lastly, he blamed me for some random wood that was stored above my car (that was there before I even moved in.) Well, I moved the tires, stopped working on the car et al, but left the wood there. He complained again. And again. So I removed the wood (even though it belonged to god knows who.)
So, in closing, this fucking senile douche killed a 7 year friendship over petty items that could have been fixed without an overdramatic letter which in turn got me and my step pop in trouble. If he gives me one more complaint, I am going to seriously start a war. Why? Because I hold grudges and I hate old people who sell me out.
2) I miss my car. End of story.
3) Today, people started to give me shit about jkrate on a design messageboard. Albeit it being 199 megs large (which I am fully aware of and am fixing this week with the help of the dreamboy Macaroni.) But still, they really kind of pissed me off with their comments about the site.
So now I have minor doubts about:
- Does it get the message across to the client
- Is the gray distracting/non readable
- Does it look professional
- Will it generate business
I hate doubting my design decisions sometimes. It's difficult to get in the head of both the designer AND the client but I think if you are able to do that, then you will really succeed in this business. I feel the site serves it's purpose and leaves out 99% of the gimmicky bullshit that is flooding every other design firms site out there.
• I don't give a fuck about design strategy and I sure as shit don't want to try and explain it on a website. If I couldn't design, I wouldn't be trying to sell my services. I've survived this long, I think I have a grasp on it.
• I don't care about case studies. I don't know of a single designer who will just do "one piece" for a client. And if you can't upsell a client on numerous pieces then you both a crap seller and a crap designer. In my eyes, every client has the potential to be buy an entire campaign from me. Not just one website.
• What do clients want? They want to make money from the money they spend. They want to look good while doing it and most importantly, every single client on earth wants one thing: to impress their boss. That's my job. I will create something for you that will impress your boss. Done.
This is by far the greatest thing on the intorwebs today:
I get security taking me to the school amdinistration many times, to question me about drugs passing through their property. Im not gonna say "yeah i push in your school alot, and i get alot of money. Thank you for having all theese fiends in your school". That gets you arrested and expelled from yet another county.
About once a month, i get 2 officers who come to my door and take me to some place for dinner to checc up on me and see how i am doing. They ask me shit like "Have you been keeping away from drugs?" and " ARe you getting into fight's?" and lots of bullshit. If i told the truth..they wouldent arrest me but then i would have to talk to counselors and take felony courses and bullshit like that.
But i dont lie socially
Click me
I get security taking me to the school amdinistration many times, to question me about drugs passing through their property. Im not gonna say "yeah i push in your school alot, and i get alot of money. Thank you for having all theese fiends in your school". That gets you arrested and expelled from yet another county.
About once a month, i get 2 officers who come to my door and take me to some place for dinner to checc up on me and see how i am doing. They ask me shit like "Have you been keeping away from drugs?" and " ARe you getting into fight's?" and lots of bullshit. If i told the truth..they wouldent arrest me but then i would have to talk to counselors and take felony courses and bullshit like that.
But i dont lie socially
Click me
No matter how bad life gets...
1 Comments Published by JKREW on Monday, November 13, 2006 at 12:04 PM.
Bloc Party will always make it alright.
(Three months before release mind you *wink*)
*swoons
Hey all, so much crap has happened in the past few weeks it's just plain silly.
Websites:
This has been pretty much sucking my life away lately. Kate and I started www.jkrate.com in late october and have been getting great back pats for it. Even got a few bites from perspective clients with no advertising! And even with the site being 198 bazillion megs large! hahaha oops
We also collaborated with an old buddy Jon Macaroni www.jonathanrowny.com to do all of the coding and backend. Huzzah! We're almost official!
Launched
• www.rnrdc.com
• www.lexho.com
Started work on:
• hr-concepts
• iminurwebsite
So, other than those, we have been talking about ways to get our name out even more. Mailers and other guerrilla crap are coming soon! Wheee...
On a personal note, kate and I sold Betty this weekend to her new owners. It was a horrible sad day for us both =( I am back to a one carport family again. As much as I want a new project, it's incredibly nice to have my debt finally paid off. Now I just need to write a check and be done with it.
And lastly, poor nick the roommate is now in Iraq. He IM'ed me earlier telling me he had a nice bar-b-q while the local insurgents were bombing the city's perimeter the other night. Charming. Be safe dude!
p.s. Never leave AIM open when you leave work for the weekend...
Websites:
This has been pretty much sucking my life away lately. Kate and I started www.jkrate.com in late october and have been getting great back pats for it. Even got a few bites from perspective clients with no advertising! And even with the site being 198 bazillion megs large! hahaha oops
We also collaborated with an old buddy Jon Macaroni www.jonathanrowny.com to do all of the coding and backend. Huzzah! We're almost official!
Launched
• www.rnrdc.com
• www.lexho.com
Started work on:
• hr-concepts
• iminurwebsite
So, other than those, we have been talking about ways to get our name out even more. Mailers and other guerrilla crap are coming soon! Wheee...
On a personal note, kate and I sold Betty this weekend to her new owners. It was a horrible sad day for us both =( I am back to a one carport family again. As much as I want a new project, it's incredibly nice to have my debt finally paid off. Now I just need to write a check and be done with it.
And lastly, poor nick the roommate is now in Iraq. He IM'ed me earlier telling me he had a nice bar-b-q while the local insurgents were bombing the city's perimeter the other night. Charming. Be safe dude!
p.s. Never leave AIM open when you leave work for the weekend...
Even though I have been a customer of yours since 1994, I am hereby stating that I will never NEVER ever purchase or use any of your services ever again for the rest of my life.
Even though I've had service with you for more than a decade, due to your increasingly poor performance, dropped calls, HORRIBLE customer service and subpar technology I chose to leave you. You know, because you were the one not holding up to your end of the agreement. That's what a contract is for right? I sign up expecting certain things from you, and you, expect things from me, like paying the bill on time etc.
Well, you don't like when I threaten to leave so after a decade of service, and you charged me $150 bucks.
And for that, you lost a customer.
Why is this a big deal? Well, let's break it down. Because you charged me $150 bucks as well as wasted 45 minutes of my time trying to call you on on it, I will never get sprint long distance ($50/month value), will never get a sprint phone ($75/month value) and will tell each and every one of my friends and family to never use you again ($who knows!).
All for a measly $150 bucks.
And now I'm blogging about it. I may not get many readers but of the 400 a day I do get, hopefully one or two will believe me and see my plight. They will then blog about it. Maybe I'll email this to www.gizmodo.com or www.ohgizmo.com.
Who knows but one thing I DO know is that you lost the most money in this, not me.
So join me blogging community! Stop stealing MP3's or complaining about how much you hate Paris Hilton and her STD-ridden friends for one minute and join the fight! Let's all bitch about sprint together! I mean, we're not going to change the world but we can create some bad press here!
VIVA LA REVOLUCION!!!
Stupid sprint. Fucking cuntsticks.
Even though I've had service with you for more than a decade, due to your increasingly poor performance, dropped calls, HORRIBLE customer service and subpar technology I chose to leave you. You know, because you were the one not holding up to your end of the agreement. That's what a contract is for right? I sign up expecting certain things from you, and you, expect things from me, like paying the bill on time etc.
Well, you don't like when I threaten to leave so after a decade of service, and you charged me $150 bucks.
And for that, you lost a customer.
Why is this a big deal? Well, let's break it down. Because you charged me $150 bucks as well as wasted 45 minutes of my time trying to call you on on it, I will never get sprint long distance ($50/month value), will never get a sprint phone ($75/month value) and will tell each and every one of my friends and family to never use you again ($who knows!).
All for a measly $150 bucks.
And now I'm blogging about it. I may not get many readers but of the 400 a day I do get, hopefully one or two will believe me and see my plight. They will then blog about it. Maybe I'll email this to www.gizmodo.com or www.ohgizmo.com.
Who knows but one thing I DO know is that you lost the most money in this, not me.
So join me blogging community! Stop stealing MP3's or complaining about how much you hate Paris Hilton and her STD-ridden friends for one minute and join the fight! Let's all bitch about sprint together! I mean, we're not going to change the world but we can create some bad press here!
VIVA LA REVOLUCION!!!
Stupid sprint. Fucking cuntsticks.
Just went live at 3pm. Hopefully it is now bug free and that the client will love it. Hoorayz!
Special thanks to Macaroni for the hawt backend (*snickers*) and lovely coding all around.
www.rnrdc.com
Special thanks to Macaroni for the hawt backend (*snickers*) and lovely coding all around.
www.rnrdc.com
Oooh, my nerd genes are exploding inside me right now (gross!)
hahahaha lookit them legs pedal!
Well, there really is money in making web pages
1 Comments Published by JKREW on Thursday, November 09, 2006 at 7:23 PM.
Taken from an email to a nice gentleman potentially looking for work done. It's quite weird to say you have a business to call your own but man, does it feel good =)
...
Just to tell you a little bit about jkrate, my partner Kate Halstead and I JUST decided to make a run for personal business ownership and so far it’s turning out to be a great decision. I have close to 10+ years ad agency experience and currently contract for Volkswagen of America designing/upkeeping their webpage.
Although our numbers may be small, Kate and I still make it a point to make every client count as if they were our only one. I think that is the major difference you will find with us compared to a majority of the design firms out there.
Regards,
Jason Kress
Co-owner & Creative Director - jkrate.com
Man, five potential clients in less than a week and that's without advertising. It's gonna be a good year indeed =)
...
Just to tell you a little bit about jkrate, my partner Kate Halstead and I JUST decided to make a run for personal business ownership and so far it’s turning out to be a great decision. I have close to 10+ years ad agency experience and currently contract for Volkswagen of America designing/upkeeping their webpage.
Although our numbers may be small, Kate and I still make it a point to make every client count as if they were our only one. I think that is the major difference you will find with us compared to a majority of the design firms out there.
Regards,
Jason Kress
Co-owner & Creative Director - jkrate.com
Man, five potential clients in less than a week and that's without advertising. It's gonna be a good year indeed =)
Not like I really care about americas biggest white trash couple but I do find joy in other peoples misery... anyhoo, the video sucks and it isn't very interesting but it does show the exact moment britney tells her thug-life husband that she's done with him... OVER TEXT MESSAGE. hahahahahaha wheeee. Classy!
Well, the house is empty once more
2 Comments Published by JKREW on Wednesday, November 08, 2006 at 9:36 AM.
My roommate Nick, or Rambo as some call him, left this morning to go to Iraq. On his own accord mind you. Nick is one of those private contractor types who go overseas to seek fame and fortune and hopefully won't get shot in the process.
It's a little weird having him gone. It's only been a morning but the eery quiet in the house is still hard to get used to being how Nick makes it a point to be one of the noisiest people I know. It's not his fault of course, he's just a big boy. Kate still doesn't understand why I don't care about his noise levels just because it's sort of calming in a way.
"Oh, nicks home."
"How do you know?"
"I can hear him coming up the stairs."
"Oh, hahaha. Right."
But yeah, he will be gone for 4 months. I'll be by myself for Thanksgiving and Xmas and New years and Valentines Day. Weird. No one to tell me crazy stories from the night before involving hookers, midgets and shootouts with crackheads. No one to do Absynthe shots with. *sigh
Good luck bro. Don't get shot. Come home safe. Make a shitload of money over there =)
It's a little weird having him gone. It's only been a morning but the eery quiet in the house is still hard to get used to being how Nick makes it a point to be one of the noisiest people I know. It's not his fault of course, he's just a big boy. Kate still doesn't understand why I don't care about his noise levels just because it's sort of calming in a way.
"Oh, nicks home."
"How do you know?"
"I can hear him coming up the stairs."
"Oh, hahaha. Right."
But yeah, he will be gone for 4 months. I'll be by myself for Thanksgiving and Xmas and New years and Valentines Day. Weird. No one to tell me crazy stories from the night before involving hookers, midgets and shootouts with crackheads. No one to do Absynthe shots with. *sigh
Good luck bro. Don't get shot. Come home safe. Make a shitload of money over there =)
From http://misscellania.com
1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.
2. The New York Times is read by people who think they run the country.
3. The Washington Post is read by people who think they should run the country.
4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don't really understand the Washington Post. They do, however like the smog statistics shown in pie charts.
5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running the country, if they could spare the time, and if they didn't have to leave L.A. to do it.
6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country.
7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's running the country, and don't really care as long as they can get a seat on the train.
8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who's running the country either, as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.
9. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure there is a country, or that anyone is running it; but whoever it is, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped minority, feministic atheist dwarfs, who also happen to be illegal aliens from ANY country or galaxy as long as they are democrats.
10. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country, but need the baseball scores.
1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.
2. The New York Times is read by people who think they run the country.
3. The Washington Post is read by people who think they should run the country.
4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don't really understand the Washington Post. They do, however like the smog statistics shown in pie charts.
5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running the country, if they could spare the time, and if they didn't have to leave L.A. to do it.
6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country.
7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's running the country, and don't really care as long as they can get a seat on the train.
8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who's running the country either, as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.
9. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure there is a country, or that anyone is running it; but whoever it is, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped minority, feministic atheist dwarfs, who also happen to be illegal aliens from ANY country or galaxy as long as they are democrats.
10. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country, but need the baseball scores.
Happy birthday Kate =)
So, as you all know, I LOATHE Kanye West. I hated him from the very beginning and especially after last years cry fest at the grammys when he didn't win shit and had kittens about it. So ok, this year he finally won best rap artist. Ok whee. Good for you.
Then, he crashed the stage of the MTV Europe Music Awards in Copenhagen yesterday when he lost Best Video to Justice and Simian's "We Are Your Friends." He started going off on a rant about why he should've won for his video "Touch The Sky," saying: "It cost a million dollars, Pamela Anderson was in it. I was jumping across canyons. If I don't win, the awards show loses credibility. Nothing against you, but hell, man." And in a post-show press conference he also admitted:
"I haven't seen [the Justice vs. Simian video]. Possibly it could have been quite good, but no way better than 'Touch the Sky'. That is complete bullshit. I paid a million. Obviously it's not all about the money, but the response it got transcended everything, it really made great TV. It took a month to film; I stood on a mountain; I flew a helicopter over Vegas. I did it to be the king of all videos and I wanted to walk home with that award."
WTF dude.
www.lexho.com
Special thanks to Macaroni for his coding skills and of course lexho for being jkrate's first paying client. (Now fork over the loot suckah! xoxo)
Now on to rnr...
Special thanks to Macaroni for his coding skills and of course lexho for being jkrate's first paying client. (Now fork over the loot suckah! xoxo)
Now on to rnr...
Dude... living in space would be rad if it actually looked like this:
Space colony artwork from the 70's.
Space colony artwork from the 70's.