It's when you sell the $1200 headlights you busted your ass for 6 months prior to some dude in California.

And then when you get the money, instead of buying that Honda Civic beater you have been dying to buy for the past 3 months, you call up the debt collectors who have been calling your ass for months and bargain them down to 50% of their collection price to close out the account.

And THEN, you call up the student loan company that has been hounding your ass for close to 4 years and finally get that taken care of too.

Yes, it sucks to just kiss your money good bye but god damnit it fucking feels fantastic knowing they are finally gone for good.

Explosions in the Sky is probably one of the most underrated experimental/mood rock groups out there and good lord, am I all up their ass right now. After seeing the movie (fantastic by the way), I found it hard not to notice how extremely beautiful the background music was. Very airy and mood inspiring and it pretty much made the movie. Anyhoo, please check them out if you wish.

I would have to say that they are a perfect group to listen to while doing anything. Just great music to work to. No lyrics, just great instrument playing. Quiet at times and then explosive (pardon the pun).

Check them out here.

Click me

And it's only monday... imagine what kind of work I could get done if I really gave a shit?

I am the luckiest girl in the world.

because cookies and whatever the steamy red stuff in the cup is will make you better


I think you should go with this one.

I think only bears sleep this long...

Seriously, if you have the choice of eating Zicam® Rapid Melts or licking the taint of a Hells' Angel who has been riding for 14 hours straight through the mojave desert while battling the worst case of the crabs he has ever seen, go for the biker. It will taste better.

JUST SAY NO

derrick ito: i was playing a flash game the other day, with a little alien that goes to another space ship to alter it's course. and there you were, sucking on a hookah
JKREW:???
derrick ito: that was you wasnt it?
you havent seen that? it's totally your picture
an artsy flash gamey thing from a year or two ago
made by some russian
JKREW: no way!
derrick ito: it's 100 percent your face on a cartoon body sucking on a hookah
JKREW: hahaha that rules
derrick ito: ill try and dig up the link.
JKREW: excellent
derrick ito: http://nlp.fi.muni.cz/~xsvobod4/amanita/samorost/intro.html
click the tower to start, wait for the animation to go, the guy will fly over in a ship.. first screen that it stops on.. thats YOU smoking a hookah
JKREW: WHAT THE FUCK?
derrick ito: thats you right?
JKREW: hahaha dude 0_o

Click me

JKREW: http://photos1.blogger.com/img/142/1596/500/monkey-dog.jpg
you are the puppy and I am the monkey because we are BEST FRIENDS FOREVER!
j: bah
JKREW: =(
j: you do look like that monkey bro
serriously
hahahah
JKREW: yeah I know. *cuts wrists
j: bahhaa
dont
your woman is hot
thats all that matters
JKREW: haha yeah true
j: thats when you say "fuck you my woman is hot"
and you always win
JKREW: it's my horse cock that gets em every time
j: dude you look like an ape
"fuck you my woman is hot"
oh damn.
JKREW: hey fuck you, my woman is hot
j: shoot
JKREW: wow, that does feel good to say.
I'm gonna call up everyone that tried to whup my ass in high school tonight.

You pompous, cocky bastard. Your new album is garbage. I would normally tell all of my friends where to download your leaked new joint but your shit is so bad, I am actually throwing it in my trash can after I type this. You say you're a producer but why must you construct every single song on your album with samples upon samples and beats from 4 years ago.

There was a reason you didn't get shit at the American Music Awards and then you threw your little hissy fit and FINALLY got a Grammy. But now your head is way to big for your own good. Go back to making backpack beats dude and only you would put a remix of your song from your LAST album on your NEW album. Retarded.

for "half husky half sheperd":


for "carson":

I have absolutely no one to go buying shoes with right now as of 7:28 pm.

That's sad on so many levels I just don't really need to get into it.

Kanye and Beach Boys. Kind of weird.

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The weirdest thing is this dude is making new beats for one the hottest beat makers in the game right now. That's like trying to redesign a Picasso.

And no, I am in no way equating Kanye to Picasso silly =)

Jesse Sandler said he was one of the people pushing forward, using a folding chair he had brought with him to beat back people who tried to cut in front of him.

"I took my chair here and I threw it over my shoulder and I went, 'Bam,''' the 20-year-old said nonchalantly, his eyes glued to the screen of his new iBook, as he tapped away on the keyboard at a testing station.

Click me

dvmaverick: I really felt bad about tripping that old man though
JKREW: hahahaha
dvmaverick: we had a nice conversation while we were waiting
JKREW: yeah tell your mom I'm sorry for punching her in the tit
dvmaverick: yeah that was fucked up
weird how it all seems barbaric now
JKREW: hey, the bitch had it coming with all that shit talking about jaguar and panther
dvmaverick: dude it's tiger
no wonder you got bitchslapped by the IT guy

Click me

"Some people are married and divorced and married and divorced and go from job to job, so I think it’s a very personal thing. I don’t know if it’s something you can teach anyone. All I know is that a lot of people kid themselves by moving to too many jobs and then find themselves going out of the business when they’re 35 years old because they’ve compromised and jumped around for money and for the wrong reasons. The only reason you should move to a new job is if you are not getting the opportunity to do what you want to do and what you believe you can do.

You need to look around. Are there teachers here? Am I learning things? Am I getting the opportunities I need? If you feel you’ll never accomplish anything more there, you have to move. But don’t move because somebody else will you give you more money. Money has to be the last criteria. Because ultimately, if you are doing great work, the money will come."

- Lee Clow

The South Will Rise Again Movie Trailor

Get ready for me.

Sincerely,
JKREW

p.s. I wonder if you can rat out a VW?

It is so unbelievably hard to work for people who don't know good design if it bit them on their taint. I took this job for ease of life, not as a portfolio builder. I knew that I would be doing shit design for a shit corporation when I took the job. I knew I would be giving up pride for a quicker commute and very reasonable pay but did not know that in return for that, I would be selling my soul so much. I have two pieces TOPS that I produced in the past 14 months that I am willing to bring to an interview. And that is being nice.

Case in point... they wanted a logo for an internal AOL team. My direction? This is word for word... "make it racey!"

So I produced this as an option before I took friday off last week. It may not be the best logo in the world but I believe it works for the client:



I came back today and saw the printout on my traffic girl's desk.
me: Did they like the logo?
her: We are giving it to the other designer.
me: Why?
her: We want to see it with photoshop filters and stuff and we know how you hate using photoshop filters.
me: Wait, hold on. You shitcanned my logo just because it didn't have filters applied to it and didn't even give me a chance to use filters?
her: yes.
me: That's the only reason you don't like it? Because it looks flat and doesn't have cheesy bevels on it? I would assume, you could at least tell me that the initial design is good or bad before you see it with filters applied to it right?
her: I guess. It looks flat and thats it.
me: So you weren't even going to tell me that it needed work and you were shit canning it?
her: Go talk to the boss dude.
me: Forget it, I don't care any more.


God damnit, I need a new job.

What a fantastic weekend. Urgh, I have no idea how to start this off. I haven't rambled on for a long time on this thang so it's going to be bumpy. My brain is a little dusty...

So, friday got the verbal ok that grandma was doing better. She was breathing on her own and was asking for food when she woke up so that's a good thing. Kate came over at noon and we hit the fucking road. Once again, it was hot as fuck out so she drove being that I have no AC. To the beach. Just for the day. I don't know why I love it there so much now when I despised it back in the day. It's like as soon as you drive over that bridge, you are greeted with tackiness and kitch that is the beach. No pretentiousness, no trendiness, just beach life. Simple, fun. Major eye candy to look at. Relaxation.

Kate and I found a spot to throw our gear and it was off to walk on the beach. Growing more daring, we went deeper into the water as I then proceeded to get my ass handed to me by the wave and lost my gawt-damn sunglasses. Oh well, they were last years model anyways. I realised I am grossly out of shape and need to work on that post haste. Got my fries from thrashers, walked until sunset and got back on the road. Came back to find out that dinner at the chinese place was too late but lo and behold, stoner dave had ordered a small feast and had leftovers next door. Score! Filling our bellies with breaded animal, we politely ran next door to shower off the grime and salt that ocean city gave us.

Sleep.

Saturday arrived ever hotter than friday had so a plan had to be made. Fuck this shit, let's go to the pool. I had heard of this place nearby that was a virginia-run water park and had all these crazy slides and what not so we drove as fast as possible to the destination. We got there to find out it was designed for pre-school kids and families but laughed it off and made the best of it. Imagine a few acres of water park goodness i.e. mini slides, animals with water spooging from their mouths and so on. Now, surrounding the park is another ring-shaped pool where people could swim in on rafts that was powered by jets so the current would just take you around and around all day long. That's where we chilled for 5 straight hours.

The rated PG highlight of the day was finding a double raft-tube for kate to sit in while I pushed it along. The annoying troublemaker in me came out and I made a game of how many kids I could barge into with the raft and finally succeeded in tipping a 12 year old over right in front of a life guard. Yes, I'm 28 and I know this. Piss off =)

We finally decided to leave and meandered home to shower (*giggles) and cooked some dead animal on the grill.

Then there was the bit where I got food poisoning with some cheese that had expired and was sick all day on sunday but I won't let that get me down.

Oh and I have an idea. And it's going to be big. And I want to go to the beach again. Soon.

This looks quite good and well, donnie darko is cool too I guess...



Jarhead the Movie

kate: entertain me!
take your clothes off.
JKREW: haha I'm watching war of the worlds with some aliens and tom cruise =p
kate: that's not entertaining me ):
JKREW: ok, so there is an alien and it's zapping some cows
and tom cruise is like "OMG no! LIKE WTF? Stop fux0ring the c0wz0rs before I banz0r you!"
kate: bahahahha!
JKREW: and the alien is all like, "No way dude. I will totally pWn youz0ros with my laz0r!"
kate: what about the cute scenster boy??
JKREW: and then that blonde girl is like "AGHHHHH!!!!!!" and tom is like "DUDE, STFU before I give you to the aliens." and she is like "ok" and the alien is like "yeah ok"
kate: *snickers
JKREW: and then the army attacks the aliens with bird poop and they all die and then tom cruise is like "ok, well I have to go to my planet now with katie. peace out sux0rs!"

So I was perusing my old server...

This is when I cared about getting a good job.
It was a portfolio mailer to a place called CPB in miami who has the IKEA, MINI and Truth accounts to name a few. They were voted the number one firm three years in a row.

The fucked up thing is that I actually got the job. I gave it up for personmal reasons.

Personal reasons being that I was 1) a scared little bitch and 2) afraid of losing my then girlfrind.

I should stop being scared and finally decide to make myself happy.

Well, one gall bladder and a few feet of intestine are now safely floating on a barge somewhere in the ocean probably being pecked at by some seagulls. Her respirator was removed today and she can somewhat talk but is complaining of a sore throat.

Due to her alzheimers, she doesn't know why she is where she is and is in the state she is in but the doctors are hoping for a good recovery. The funny moment of the day was when she told my mom that she "thought it was a good idea to stay at the hospital for the night instead of going home."

Hahahaha, yeah, that's a good idea =)

If any of you are wondering, here is what the granny in question looks like. She was taking a picture with me for a messageboard I belonged to called "o8".

No news on the grandma front but here is a video that makes me want to leave work and go to the vans skatepark...

Click me

thanks for making me better happy today.

No updates yet. She lost a gall bladder and 12 ft. of lower intestine due to a twisted intestine. She was going to have a blood transfusion but didn't have to which is good. Still on a respirator though which is bad.

The worst part is that she has alzheimers and has no idea why she is being punished with a tube being jammed down her throat.

She is like a child and it makes me tear up as I type this just thinking about her. It's hard to see someone who used to be so strong look so innocent and weak.

God damnit I love her so much and I wish this never happened to her. She doesn't deserve one second of it.

is in the hospital on a respirator and has a 50% chance of living.

mother: we have tiramisu for desert
me (seeing father shifting in his chair looking visibly excited): don't get up, I'll get you some
father: oh don't worry, I wasn't getting up

Hey... FUCK YOU

My patience for rude people is now officially gone.

JKREW: no probs sperm burper =)
and don't forget www.meritline.com for all of your pirating needs =)
workis4jerks: SPERM BURPER! HA!
JKREW: hahaha
workis4jerks: Speaking of pirating... http://flickr.com/photos/45426136@N00/31521412/
JKREW: BAHAHA
that rules

The Lesbian Movie Scene Encyclopedia. If my math is correct, this should come in handy at least twice a day. (Uh huh huh, uh huh... I said "come in handy.")

Click me

300 photos of Adriana Lima.

p.s. Stoner Dave typed this. Not JKREW, because JKREW totally doesn't need Adriana Liama to make him happy because he has hot kate.

p.p.s. Want to touch the hiney

Click me

Art prankster sprays Israeli wall



Click me

Click me

JKREW: oh, your mom called about 20 mins ago
DV Maverick: oh?
JKREW: yeah, something about a fire. I dunno. She hung up on me so I figured it wasn't a big deal
DV Maverick: ?
JKREW: meh, if it was important I guess she'll call back
DV Maverick: how did you understand spanish
FUCKHEAD
JKREW: she kept screaming "PORQUE?! MUERTE! PORQUE!?"

Bloc Party - She's hearing voices (Early Demo version Includes post song randomness) (Click link dont save): A real rough cut/ behind the scenes version on this Bloc Party track recording, I believe it was recorded back when they were going by the moniker "Angel Fire" and had just appointed Matt as their drummer. It's a great cut, and seems to have a roughness and supreme vocalisation that Silent Alarm lacked in some respects. Un-polished joy that features some commentary and messing about for the last few minutes of the track which should please some of the more die-hard Bloc Party fans out there.

Lets play a game.

How to play:

FInd a random flickr image. The more normal the better. Then critique it with the eye of an art critic. Then invite your friends to battle and try to trump the previous crit.

GO GO GO!

Click me

Let's see, update time...

Chappelle is never coming back. Bummer.

Don't fuck with tigers. They rule all.

*takes a breath

Wedding Crashers is one of the worst movies I have seen in a long time. Fucking Owen Wilson looks like he is 182 years old, Vince Vaughn is on screen eating with his mouth full for 83% of the movie and he was just ginormous for the movie. It was 30 minutes too long, there were 5 too many "come to Jesus" scenes where the main character has to think about how he fucked up and every woman they banged could have easily been high school seniors. Christopher Walken was underused (even though he is one of the worlds biggest one sided actors) and Will Ferrell's cameo was weak to say the least.

Ugh, it was just bad. Imagine taking one scenerio and then making a movie about it for 2 hours. And I swear if Wilson squinted, took a deep breath and then spurt out a whiney, nasaly soliliqouy one more time I was going to throw my soda at the screen and walk the fuck out.

Oh, and movie theaters are not made for 6'3" people. It's just not possible for us to be comfortable.

What's next?

I'm in a fuck-off bad mood right now. It's just not a good time to hang out with me. I would go off on a rant about how I hate everything right now but it would just be childish and repetitive of me to do so. It will pass but for right now, I just want to be alone.

Ever wake up and realise that there is a game being played and you have been distracted for the past 5 minutes and in those 5 minutes, you have managed to fuck a lot of things up?

Yeah, that's me.

p.s. Your back is bleeding onto the couch cushion. Might want to sort that out mate.

This is pretty bad ass even though I would be shitting my pants if it happened to me. Listen to how calm the pilots are...

Click me

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE -- Bloomington, IN – August 3, 2005 -- Dog Condoms, Inc. is announcing a voluntary recall of its Dog Condoms® canine prophylactics, due to an unacceptable failure rate reported during preliminary release in test markets. Use of these recalled condoms may result in unwanted canine pregnancies. Additionally, meat-scented Dog Condoms® may present a choking hazard, especially for smaller dogs.

"Can I Train My Dog To Put It On Himself?

No, the dog will require human intervention each time he wishes to put on or take off a condom."

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A 30gig holographic card? A buck a card? That's fucking hot. Plus it makes a great tool for cutting sweet lines of charlie.

Click me

Good lord, I physically need this in my life.
Now I understand why I have a 3rd story balcony overlooking a golf course.

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I took this photo...

I don't ask for much and this will make me happy forever.
You can even keep the rediculous body kit.
Thanks in advance,
JKREW

JKREW: buh, I really don't want to work anymore
I need to win some money
DaveAtWork: haha... sounds like a plan to me
lets invest to win the lottery
JKREW: ok deal
I think a new line of employment will be fun. I don't think I like graphic design anymore
DaveAtWork: hmm you know my feelings on that...
what do i spend all my good weekends doing... OTHER THAN POLE DANCING!
JKREW: but even when I get to do what I want with freelance, I just don't care for it anymore. I mean, it pays quite well but I'm just not happy sitting behind a fucking desk. I hate to say it but I admire jess sometimes. She may be in a bullshit dead end job in our eyes, but I bet she is hella happier working outside with horses than we are inside with ghey computers