I said the Editors were the best album this year but the Engineers had the best album LAST year.

Go now. Buy me

If you ever get into a fight, I think the perfect threat would be...

"I'm going to punch you right into next tuesday, where my future self will be waiting to punch you back into one second before I first punched you, creating a neverending continuum where I just beat your ass until the end of time."

Man, I know I always say I can't wait for things but this I really can't wait for. Rumor has it that Joaquin actually sang all the songs and if that's true I give him a lot of credit because personally I don't care for his acting ability. Oh man I can't wait for this to come out...

Walk the Line movie trailor

Good to see our president is up on technology with his sweet 13".

God damnit, I need me an asian baby. I got the fever and the only prescription is more asian baby.

kate: how are you today?
JKREW: I'm good. =)
I keep waking up in the middle of the night singing
for the past 4 days
kate: what?
JKREW: I wake up in the middle of the night singing a song
like singing singing
kate: I need to spend the night.
what are you singing?
JKREW: I woke up last night at 530 singing that song "tonight we celebrate our love..."
what the fuck?
I think my brain turns gay while I sleep.

God, how much of a fuck up do you have to be to annoy Paris Hilton?
Lay off the sauce, kitten.

Wow, um, you sure this is a good idea to put on the web?

Al Qaeda Training Manual
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Go now.

Gamemaker Sued Over Hidden Sex in GTA

Cohen said in the suit that she bought the game in late 2004 for her 14 year old grandson when it was rated "M" for mature, for players 17 and older.

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Lets see...

Selling my HID's to pay off bills. Fucking sucks but I need to man up and deal with my shit.
Would someone please tell a certain someones vagina to bleed? I can't take this shit anymore. Plus, knowing that a certain option is not an option scares me more. I can't even take care of myself let alone a baby.

Oh and I hate money. I know this was part of the first sentence but still, I hate money with every ounce of my soul. My mom always tried to teach me to respect it but I will never learn. I hate money. I hate it.

Anything else to bitch about? Um... not really. Oh and the girl I had lunch with today made me want to travel. I need to get away because I'm assuming, a great time in a foreign land would provide me with supremely better stories and memories than going to Jersey and getting drunk at a car show.

I should sell Dara and get an Audi and just not touch it. Ever. Well, not touch it if it was an S4. Ok, maybe upgrade the turbos but THAT'S IT.

click below suckah

brings me lunch so we can have picnics in my gay office. And she makes normal stuff better. For instance, my work mate dain was hungry. I gave him the last remaining sandwich that kate made me for lunch. He was eating the sandwich when my boss came in and laughed at him. I replied, "Dude, thats not just a sandwich, kate made it. Trust me on this one."

You know how if you or I or any normal man would make a grilled cheese sandwich? Like, 2 slices of american cheese, slap that shit on some white bread, toast the bitch up and eat? Not kate, she would make her own 197-grain bread that was fermented off the ass of a 12 year old taiwanese shamen's daughter. Then she would find 14 different breeds of cheese. She wouldn't just grill the bread, she would panini that motherfucker and put green spikey herbs and stuff on it. And when you would eat it, as soon as it touched your tongue... involuntary orgasm. I swear on it.

I turned around to work and in the corner of my eye, I see dain trying to speak with a mouthful of peanut butter and rasberry jelly in his mouth... "mmm, ok, yeah, this is the best pbj I have ever had in my entire life. I can say that without lying."

Just as he said that, I rushed around to tell my boss, "See dude! Told you."

Yeah, she rules.

Wow. It just keeps getting better with each photo...

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So I got this message and decided to share.
Call early, call often folks.


573.356.5499
(Jefferson City, Columbia, Missouri)

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Payback's a motherfucker.
*weeps

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I present to you... Great moments in headline writing.

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Florida Police Search for Naked Tickler

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Remember that VW commercial with the dancing and the rain and the yeah, well, here's the original music video...

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My buddy next to my car on our way to jersey for a show =)


Hopefully I'll make it into the magazine next month. *crosses fingers

Check out John Roberts' kid getting his dance on during Bush's speech last night - and covering classic moves like "The Funky Twist" and "The Running Man". you go lil' John...

And damn if her brother didn't lose some weight...

You would buy me these.

Sincerely,
JKREW

Trust is a motherfucker eh? I remember, maybe around my first or second year with Jess where we were living together at my mums house over the summer as we were lifeguarding at the same pool. I don't remember how it all went down because, christ, this was YEARS ago but I think she had left her email open or something along those lines on my computer. I was by myself one night and I went to go check my email and instead of checking mine, I saw hers and of course as luck would have it, I saw a bunch of emails from the same address of a guy that Jess was supposedly "just friends with".

Well, noseyness got the best of me and I read an email. And of course it had in it what I didn't want to see but was looking for. Talk of flirtation, want to wake up next to... well, you get the idea. It was just bad. Like fucked up bad. That kind of shit that makes your head pulse with a heartbeat and your chest feels like it has a basketball-sized heart in it and it pounds so loud, everything else goes quiet. You start to sweat. Your stomach feels instantly empty. You want to vomit but instead of vomiting, you keep reading.

It sucks. You can pretty much hear your own heart breaking and at the same time, your trust with that person is never going to be the same again. Ever. I don't care who says different because they are lying to not only their mate but also to themselves. Anyways... I confronted her and yes, I got that apology I was looking for. I also got that horrible bout of tears from her that I wanted to. I wanted her to feel as horrible as she made me feel. I wanted her to feel worse. I wanted her to bleed on the inside and I got it.

But then she realised that I snooped. And thats when it all turned towards the worst. No more upper hand for me. You can imagine how it went from there. This actually happened several more times in our 8 year relationship. Maybe I'm just stupid for taking her back but whatever, I'm rambling again.

My point here is this... people in relationships lie. Everyone lies. I lied to Jess. I've lied to kate. But little lies are fine. Do you think it would behoove me to tell kate that an ex girlfriend called for sex one night and I turned her down? What would anyone benefit from knowing that? Even knowing that, in real life, nothing happened, I was a good boy, no penis was inserted into anyones Judy, buuut if kate knew, she would flip. She would want said ex-girlfriends head on a platter. Some things are best left alone. What ya don't know won't hurt you. Get it?

That's why he didn't tell you. Ok, so fine, he wanted to see an ex girlfriend. Boys like closure. I want to sort of make amends with my ex because for some unknown reason, she thinks I'm a bastard. Sure, she thinks that way for reasons I can't change but I know I'm not a bastard. I just want her to know that too. Maybe your fiancé (lets call him Saul), maybe he just wanted to see her one last time. Or to solidify the fact that she can't hold a candle to how wonderful you are compared to her. Point being, when you snooped in his email, you never read anything regarding how good of a kisser she is or how good she is in the sack right? Nothing happened dude and you know it. Just a little conversation.

You got a little case of cold feet last night and I am happy to verbally slap you silly until you feel better. It will be ok and yes, you will be able to look him in the eye again. And if you have a hard time doing that, always think back to that indescretion(s) we had together for several months. I'm guessing you never told him about that eh? Right. Everyone lies.

Ta. =)

do a search for hitler and zoom allll the way in

Um, ouch.

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So not only did they try to jack my car, they fucked up stoner daves car. I swear to christ, I think he has the right idea to get the fuck out of dodge.

Good lord. I think this video made me rethink my whole view on wanting to destroy all penguins.

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When you try to fuck with/break into my car, please put the hoodpins back on my hood so when I drive to work, my hood won't fly open and smash my windshield at 60 miles per hour.

Fucking ignorant low-rent assholes who never learned that they shouldn't touch what isn't theirs could have fucking killed me today.

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MySpace to sell for $580 million. That's a lot of money.
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I know, I'm a fanboy

This is almost laughable at how Hot Topic I am acting as of late. I don't know why I am feeling this shite but I am and I hate it. I really hope this weekend makes me feel better.

So word from the street is that my new hero Borf got arrested. If you don't know who he is then you need to get out more.

*sheds tear

Click me for history
Click me for some art

Click me for the Washington Post article

Bono and The Edge are at the gates of heaven and God goes up to The Edge and says "Dude, do you have anything to say before I judge you?" and The Edge says "Yeah dude, I think music will bring the world together in peace and harmony."

God lets him pass and then says to Bono, "Bono, do you have anything to say before I judge you?" and Bono says, "Yeah mate, I think you're in my chair."


BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OMG LOL@BONO HAHAHAHAHAHAHA GTG TTYL ROFFLE

That I had a cigarette without knowing that I had quit. I was just sitting there enjoying it and when I was finished, I realised I had just smoked and jumped off the wagon. I started to panic, asking myself what the fuck I just did and so I started walking (I was in a shopping center outdoors somewhere). I heard kate's voice call my name behind me but I pretended not to hear her calling me and kept walking into a supermarket.

I was actually feeling guilty in my dream and didn't want to hear any shit from kate of my smoking or the smell on my breath. hahah wtf?

Fuck, I am 2 inches away from giving up. I just don't care anymore. And I know I know, it's sooooo fucking trendy to be emo nowadays but I really am in a fucking rut. I don't give a fuck about anything. Not even my car. Well, my car is always something that makes me smile but ugh. I don't know.

Kate's whole family is making me not care about that part of my life at all. I am fucking up at work ROYALY. My creativity is 100% lacking and it shows. I am not producing anything and if I don't get my shit together I am going to be without a job soon if it's not in the works already. My health sucks. I come home and either drink or go to bed. I work out but it isn't showing so I have no inspiration to keep going. I put on this facade really well.

I am broke as fuck. Like flat broke. Bills are kicking my ass. I spent too much on my car even though it wasn't that much. I need to get a roommate or sell my house because I can't afford the mortgage plus I am growing to hate where I live. I don't talk or hang out with my best friend anymore and he is going to move soon anyways so what the fuck. The funny thing was that smoking at least brought us together. We always used to hang out for a smoke and now we are smoke-free at the same time. He's unhappy too though. We are both rotting from the inside out at the same time but don't even talk to eachother.

My mom is having a blast right now and I really hope I can give her the homecoming she deserves but I feel I will be too much of a depressed asshole to stomach all of her happy stories that I wish I could have shared with her.

I want to go to Jersey so fucking bad this weekend but I know it's not going to ever be the same as it was last summer and that depresses the shit out of me. This whole summer has fucking sucked. I hate being bored. I really need to get away. NEED is pretty much the strongest word I can think of right now.

Dear diary,
I am emo. I should kill myself while I wear my grey wool sweater and listen to death cab.
Sincerely,
xXxJKREWxXx

WHAT THE FUCK. Seriously, the US is reminding me daily that I need to get the fuck out of this god-damned mistake of a fucked up country.



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Say hi to Kurt and Courtney's daughter Frances Bean. Yeah, that one hurts doesn't it? *sigh

Ok, well, I want to vent. This is going to be bad because it's probably going to piss off some people. I'm probably going to regret this later. *sigh

I go out with a girl. She is nice. She makes me happy. She is a great girl. Her family sucks though. They are from Crazy Town.

Ok, let me try to make this a little more constructive and ordered. I'm 28. Albeit I act like a teenager 95% of the time by my own choice, I am still an adult (grumble). I live on my own. I have a 401k and a mortgage and a dog that depends on me to keep him fed and healthy.

When I was a teen, my mother was the only one who raised me. If I wanted to go to a rave (yes it was called a rave back then. We didn't have clubs and big DJ's, we took over abandoned warehouses in the dark) I would tell my mom that I was going to a dark building with my best friend sean and we would be back at sunrise. I would always return safe and sound. I would never do drugs or drink at these parties and I think my mom knew it. She raised me correctly. She told me the upsides and downsides to everything. Drugs are bad, respect women, be as honest as possible, always try to do right. She wasn't a bad mother per say because who in their right mind would let their children out to these things, she just trusted me and I in turn treated her with respect. She was not only my mom, but her way of raising me made me see her as a bestfriend as well.

Trust. That's such a big issue too. That issue is fucking up my life at the moment. My girlfriend's parents don't trust their children as far as they can throw them. Let me try to break it down for the laymen because it could be a great sitcom one day...

Mom and dad are devout catholics. You can't beat a God-fearing couple as a great base for a television show. The mother swings the cock in the house and if momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. Dad enforces the law but would someday like to have his cock back that his wife holds up in a 12" thick vault. Mom is a full time wife. She gets to do nothing just as long as she takes care of the family. This is all she knows. This makes her extremely dangerous because she is as naive as they come. The father busts his ass, pays for everything and in turn gets to make the rules. I respect this in a sense (a very small sense) but he rules with an iron fist of indifference and misunderstanding.

Now, the spawn.

Older brother 25ish; no street smarts whatsoever. Possibly a closet homosexual but is probably just confused due to his outspoken and sheltered upbringing. Think... videogame nerd. To the extreme. There is not much to this guy because he flys waaay under the radar. Really nice guy, just quiet.

Older sister 25ish; High and mighty syndrome. This one thinks she is above it all and rules do not apply because she is not a child anymore. She understands her parents but also has her own views and of course, they are the right ones. She has appointed herself to parent her siblings because of her self-taught worldly views and opinions. She is also a rat when things don't go her way. If anyone else in her sibling circle is happy, she will do everything in her ability to make sure they are not happy. She is just waiting for marriage so she can pop out some kids and then recreate the way of life her mother is so accustomed to.

Younger brother 18ish; I feel bad for this little guy. You know how it is... 18 years old and itching to just get the fuck out of the house. I know exactly how he feels and I pity him even more by seeing what kind of shit he has to deal with. His parents don't approve of his girlfriend for reasons God only knows. I think one reason was "she's a money grubber". This coming from a mother who gets a clothing allowance but I digress... Anyways, poor younger brother has decided to go behind his parents backs to see his girlfriend. I encourage this. Why would any parent in their right mind know what is best for their children when they are 18? Nothing is right for a child when they are 18. When you are 18, you have to fuck up to know what not to do. It's all part of growing up. So anyways, I highly condone his actions of lying, cheating and stealing to see his girlfriend. I did it along with every other boy in the world at the age of 18. Good for him. They won't end up together but what the fuck? If you're 18, you are just seeing what the world can offer you. Go out and get it and try not to die or get locked up along the way. The main point I want to make with this guy is that he is lying because his parents are making him lie. You will never control an 18 year old boy by force. NEVER. You can only hope to guide him along the way of his precarious upper-teen years by giving him good advice and support. This is the age when you think you can make your own decisions. No amount of sheltering is going to stop an 18 year old from trying to think for himself.

Now, for the middle sister and my current girlfriend 21ish; she is the pretty daughter. No offense to the other daughter but it's true and also leads me to my point. The parents see her as the pretty one so she is obviously going to get into the most trouble with boys and drugs and everything else pretty girls get into. She is 21 years old. A legal adult in every part of the globe. But of course, because she lives under her parents roof, she has to play by their rules. She can't touch a boy in their house. She can't spend the night at anyones house. She has to go to church every sunday even though she hates it and is vocal about hating it. She lies to her parents for me.

I am now officially back in high school. Her father called me today to just "understand his position". His older daughter can go across the globe to fuck some stranger she met on the internet but his younger daughter can't stay in a hotel room on a roadtrip with her boyfriend of six months. So now I am equated to the third parent. I have to respect the daughter but also play by the rules of the household I so fondly have grown to hate with every ounce of my being. So let me recap. I am no longer the boyfriend. I am now being asked to be the father. I have to try to make a relationship work in the year 2005 but still act like it's 1965. I have to forget that I went out with a woman for 8 years, had her live with me, almost marry me and now go out with someone who's parents are real-deal characters from Leave it to Beaver.

Try to respect and understand the fact that I want to do boyfriend things, not parent things. How cold and unfair is it for a father to ask his daughters boyfriend to "try to see it his way". Of course I'm going to "see it your way" man but what the fuck? Why do you have to ask me repeatedly. Maybe there is a reason you have to call me to talk your daughter into respecting you. Maybe it's because she doesn't respect you. Don't feel we have that kind of relationship where I will suicide-bomb my relationship with your daughter just to make you happy. I'm not going to make her do anything but if she does something you don't like, it's getting really REALLY easy for me to look the other way while she does it. Don't push me out of this little "circle of trust" I'm already in with you just to live up to your ideals. I'm my own man and I will make my own decisions because I have the benefit of not being in your family.

As the world turns. Always a drama-filled day in the life of JKREW. I keep getting older but the shit stays the same. I am officially back in highschool.

Oops, I burnt the wrong files to CD and now I can't update the site. Oh well. Guess I did all that work last night for nothing. Trust me, it's totally cool. I'll launch it at 8 tonight or something.

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Man, four years of trying to hunt one down and it's finally in my posession =)

Click me for some history

Wow. Um, wtf. I thought kate's dogs were fucking retards.

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I missed a phonecall this morning from my mom. She's overseas right now so I texted her back quickly and 15 seconds later, she calls, "Hi, I'm outside the Vatican."

hahaha My mom rules.

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JKREW: it's like a zip/sit file
stuffit expander will open it
upso: k. lemme grab it. thanks!
JKREW: word up
upso: i have the poopees this morning
JKREW: hahaha um, sorry? Try a banana.
upso: fyi
JKREW: wow. good luck with that

Oh no she di'nt. Mariah adds some fuel to the fire.

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Worker trying to clear stuck wood chipper pulled in

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missxkate: WHAT'S GOING ON WITH K8
JKREW: I am choosing not to give a shit about anyones problems for the rest of the week. If you wish, you can write your problem down and save it for me on monday but I'm probably guessing I won't give a fuck then either.
missxkate: i hate your guts
JKREW: thats cool
missxkate: are you going to answer me or what
JKREW: nope, I don't care
missxkate: about k8
JKREW: nope
missxkate: ugh
JKREW: exactly
missxkate: douche
im only TRYING to be your friend here
im trying to be some sort of moral support
that loves juicy gossip
OK
JKREW: I know I know. But seriously, I no longer care about anything. Have a great day.

In the name of God, the merciful, the compassionate, may peace be upon the cheerful one and undaunted fighter, Prophet Muhammad, God's peace be upon him.

Nation of Islam and Arab nation: Rejoice for it is time to take revenge against the British Zionist Crusader government in retaliation for the massacres Britain is committing in Iraq and Afghanistan. The heroic mujahideen have carried out a blessed raid in London. Britain is now burning with fear, terror and panic in its northern, southern, eastern, and western quarters.

We have repeatedly warned the British Government and people. We have fulfilled our promise and carried out our blessed military raid in Britain after our mujahideen exerted strenuous efforts over a long period of time to ensure the success of the raid.

We continue to warn the governments of Denmark and Italy and all the Crusader governments that they will be punished in the same way if they do not withdraw their troops from Iraq and Afghanistan. He who warns is excused.

God says: "You who believe: If ye will aid (the cause of) Allah, He will aid you, and plant your feet firmly."

Fuck you. And fuck her. And fuck him. And fuck this and definately fuck that. I am tired of dealing with you. I am tired of being required to deal with it.

I am... tired.

Where the ever-loving fuck is the do-over button?

I quit.

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This kid rules. Why?

• He is like, 4 and sporting a mohawk.
• His mother is the hottest woman on the planet (next to k8, duh)
• He gets to hang out with Brad Pitt
• He's an asian baby and is therefore, cute as fuck
• His mother is the hottest woman on the planet

When did goldfish® brand snacks become "street"?