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Fast forward 3/4 until he starts singing (and yes, it's a fetus that is seranading you)
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Sincerely,
JKREW

Truly beautiful photos. Makes me want to start shooting again...

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So I stole some CSS from an ex who is pretty much AWOL . She still is a wonderful designer though.

Hopefully I can teach myself CSS soon so my site won't be a complete bite of her site.

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Today is a good day indeed =)

Pioneers
Kinda Nausicaa meets linkin park.

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No, seriously.


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The 50 year storm is a comin'. Oh to be on New Zealand's west coast. (45+ foot waves 200 feet from shore breaking realllly early. )

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Great... now I can't like Bloc Party anymore.

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Kate and I were off to go to Baltimore yesterday and it all started out fine and what not. We had breakfast and started driving when all of a sudden I got really nauseous. We decided to make a change of plans and head to Ikea in college park instead which had lots of nice AC to deal with. We get in, I feel like death and maybe 2 minutes after going inside, I get dizzy as hell and feel like I'm going to pass out or boot. I pretty much run to the bathroom to boot and expect it all to get better but it doesn't. I still feel really dizzy and sick so we decided to go home.

I felt horrible for making her turn around but I knew I wouldn't last another 5 minutes in the store. We drive home and I sleep the entire way there. And for the rest of the afternoon, we sat there on the couch watching pimp my ride and slowly dying. Her stomach was upset and I felt like I would fall down if I got up.

I don't like feeling sick anymore. I don't notice it because I guess I'm so used to it but I am sick more often than not. I am too young to feel this way. I am so frustrated now with how I feel as of late. I shouldn't be this way. I quit smoking to feel better and I am now even worse. I am fucking falling apart and am starting to worry if it is something even worse than just being sick. I don't want to think about it too much but it's always in the back of my mind now.

I'm 3 weeks clean with cigarettes. Last night I decided not to drink anymore. That's the last hurdle I have on a road to getting healthier. I don't know how it will be because I am weak but I'll find out I guess.

I really pray to God I'm not dying. I just want to get better and be healthy.

Please?

Umm, not bad. I guess. I thought Nextel was ditching HZDG and going with a new brand look. Guess the merger made them reconsider. The sprint logo is horribly weighted and the Nextel logo limits itself to having that horrible tagline with it wherever it goes? It sort of has to because if it doesn't it will look just like the old logo.

Oh well....





Upcoming mergers... Sprint/Nextel/DeWalt Power Tools

No, I'm serious.
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I am going to see this because I want Bill Murray to have my babies.

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You're 73 years old, a leopard is mauling you. Yeah fuck it, let's drop the machete and go for the tongue.
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Ugh, no one knows whats wrong with me and althought I am probably the worlds best hypochondriac, I for once, really wish I would stop getting sick all the time. So yesterday I had some bloodwork done (didn't pass out whee!) as well as had an xray taken of my sexy lungs to see if I had pneumonia.

I'll find out next week.

p.s. Kate is the best nurse EVER.

I'm dying. I just wish I wouldn't die a virgin.

get well soon. and don't forget, nurse kate is at your service. all you have to do is let me know you need me. I have buckets for your snot, cups of tea and honey for your throat, massages for your back and head, and drugs to knock you out so that you get the sleep you need.

love,

kate

ps don't worry about being all grumpy with me. you've every right to be. who in their right mind could be in a good mood when they're sick?

Well, a lot of you have been emailing me to see what's going on with everything. I know I haven't posted a lot in a while but it's been quit busy etc etc (ok, I'm lazy, piss off) =)

Anyways, here's the short and sweet of it...

• Day 16 and I don't really want a smoke as bad as I did a week ago. I need to at least curb my drinking because if I'm not careful, that habit could replace my smoking habit. Gonna start running again and get back in shape. Went to the pool with the missus this weekend and realized I have a mini pot belly. That needs to go STAT.

• My father is a cunt. I think I truly hate him. And yes, I know how strong a word hate is. It's sad that one of my best friends weeps because he doesn't have a father and I on the other hand have one yet condemn mine to hell. Fuck it. It's 2005, there is no such thing as a perfect family.

• Kate is wonderful. I think we are growing into one another quite nicely. That's all I need to say about that. She knows the rest.

• I am sick. I'm also coughing up tar. I took a percocet last night and was high for 8 hours. Kate says I am funny to watch when bumbling about the house. I agree with her.

• Tom Cruise is a nice guy. I think he is just brainwashed. His acting career's end is nigh unfortunately. He just doesn't see it coming.

• Batman Begins is a fucking good movie.

• Kate and I went to the water slides this weekend and I had the most relaxing day in quite a long time.

• I saw my grandmother on Saturday. She has Alzheimer's and is frail. She was once a strong woman both on the surface and on the inside and now it is only the latter. She told kate her hair was beautiful and said living in a nursing home was "better than living on the street" 12 times. I smiled every time she repeated herself because, to her, she was trying to be sincere each and every time like it was the first time she was saying it. I love her so much and I know she knows it. We used to go on walks in DC and I had a backpack I brought with me each time. Along the walks, I would collect rocks in my bag and by the time the walk was coming to an end, I was struggling to walk because my bag was full. This would always make my grandmother laugh.

• My car is running just fine. I was depressed that everything was done with her for the time being. It was a great 4 months building her up and I am very happy with the results.

• I saw Bloc Party with Kate on Thursday. They were fucking fantastic. Kate got trashed and I kept her warm in the cold room. They sounded just like their CD which is rare in this world. I would highly recommend them to anyone wanting to go see a great show.

• If we have to be anywhere at a specific point in time, Kate and I will always be late and it will always be the shower's fault.

Weeks before he began wooing his brainwashed bride-to-be, Cruise made repeated phone calls to the 19-year-old starlet—who was then set to co-star with him in Mission Impossible III—imploring her to meet him at the Scientology Celebrity Center in L.A. But when the actress finally agreed, the supposedly professional get-together took an oddly spiritual turn.

“[Cruise] took me into this room, which was stifling hot, and was showing me all kinds of info about joining the church,” Johansson told our source. “The whole time he didn’t even offer me a cookie!” Instead, he offered her dinner—and a glimpse into the Twilight Zone.

After two hours of proselytizing, our source says Cruise opened a door to reveal a second room full of upper-level Scientologists who had been waiting to dine with the pair, at which point the cool-headed ingenue politely excused herself. Soon after the meeting, Johansson dropped out of Mission Impossible III, reportedly due to scheduling conflicts.

workisforjerks: Sorry, this ass is full of Kate's shoe. No more room.
JKREW: oh sorry if k8 was an annoying piss head last night
I tended to her after the show with a roughing she will never forget
workisforjerks: Man, she said at one point "Way to rat me out, asshole!" in reference to the pillow tits thing.
And I said, "what, is he off crying somewhere?"
JKREW: hahahaha
workisforjerks: And she  goes, "Yeah, do you know how many blowjobs I'm going to have to give him tonight to make him feel better?!"
So I think you owe me money or something.
JKREW: hahaha well that would be nice if she actually came through haha
workisforjerks: Well, now you can bring it up later and be all "Pay up, sister!"
JKREW: haha excellent
workisforjerks: "I still  hurt inside. Hurt from your words. Now, let's plug that word-hole."
JKREW: BAHAHAHAHA
workisforjerks: (why the ladies aren't lined up at my button-fly, i'll never understand)

a few little things to hopefully make your day a little better


a cute little dapple dachshund puppy


a super old photo of me


sex


the cutest baby in the world

please write a little story. I miss your stories. something that makes you laugh. (:

thank you Love,

kate

He was once married to a rich chick and then they got divorced and now he has mad cash and a 911 and a GT3. He is financially backing my company and only works when he wants to and is a very good director and photographer. He's single and is banging this hella hot blonde girl. His house is huge. He doesn't give a fuck about anything and because of that, he is my hero.

What the fuck doode? hahahahahaha



If a wife learns early to enjoy the benefits of taking the second seat, and if she does not take offense to his headstrong aggressiveness, she will be the one sitting at his right side being adored, because this kind of man will totally adore his woman and exalt her.

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The Koenigsegg CCR lays the smackdown with a new world speed record.

Mmm, tasty. =)


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and p.s. 388 kmh = 242 mph

I love you nerd face.

yours.

Stolen from k8's blog. mmmmmm, Nogaro Blue '72 Bronco. Pitty the fenders were cut =(

Rest in peace my little friend.

My entire life has been leading up to one very moment and that moment is when I see this movie.

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Water-powered jet pack + asian people = JKREW giggling like a school girl

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Best photo ever =)

I am so frustrated right now. Everything sucks. And I'm being a big baby. Actually I'm being a fucking angry self-loathing and bitter asshole prick baby.

And what the fuck is going on with Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes? Does the world not fucking see that BOTH of them have movies coming in out in under a month? WHAT THE FUCK PEOPLE. ITS A PR STUNT. The movie industry did this all the fucking time in the 40/50/60s. Christ. It's retarded.

Anyways, I'm angry and bitter and I am FUCKING SICK OF DUMDUMs. I can't have any anymore or I will boot. I need a new fix. Maybe I'll just move onto the pretzels. I'm going to get so fucking fat. It's gonna be awesome. Kate is going to dump me because I'm going to balloon up to 300 pounds of jiggle.

Stupid cigarettes. I want one so fucking badly right now. I don't get it either. It can't be still in my system so I'm assuming the craving is entirely mental at this point which is fucking bizarre. It's so sad how much of a grasp it has on me and my body. 12 years with and 5 days without.

This shit is only going to get worse.

This blogging shit is getting out of hand...
Ever dreamed of designing your own tampon. No? Yes? Well, here's your chance.
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This is what I have to deal with at work.

So, it's pretty fucking impossible to have a good calm day at work when your 14 bosses and EVERYBODY else in the office thinks they have an automatic art school degree. Ok, hey Assclown, you hired me because I design stuff. You admit that you are a businessman. How about you stick to the business end of things and I'll stick to the design end of things instead of making me design something 132 different times just so you can be proven wrong about your "fresh idea" and then realise that the option that was chosen was my original idea I did a week ago.

Fuck you. If I wasn't so broke, I would leave. I'm so cranky at work and this stress isn't making it any easier. I'm lucky I haven't gotten fired yet because I am being a total prick.

I keep walking outside and breathing the air in hopes that by some miracle, a cigarette will magically appear in my mouth and I can inhale that glorious additive that is nicotine. I miss it so much. I honestly can admit, I enjoyed smoking.

Oh and what the fuck is up with Gwen Stefani? Did she legally buy those Harajuku girls in japan? Because those same 4 girls are in EVERY one of her videos and live stage acts as well as all print/photoshoots/et al.

Where can I get a well-fashioned japanese teen for my very own?

I should have never started.

If I knew it was going to feel like this, I would have never quit started.

Be strong JKREW.

missxkate: hahah
awwwww
you just need to slap her around about
JKREW: bahaha
missxkate: and start screaming horrible things at her
like come you bitch come or i'll kill you!
JKREW: BAHAHAHAHAHA
holy fuck. That's going in the blog.

Fuck. I want to break down. I don't give a fuck what anyone has to say if they have quit before. If you had it easy then pin a star on yer nose. This is far from easy for me and I'm going to bitch and whine about it until it isn't hard.

I'm trying to at least document the feelings I am going through so maybe I can go back and read it and laugh some day or maybe give some inspiration to any of the readers who want to quit.

But right now, roughly 80 hours after my last smoke, it's not so much a habit, it's now a constant craving. Almost the opposite of yesterday. Imagine really wanting a cup of coffee or a candy bar. Not like "Hey, a cup of Joe would be dope right now." More like a "If I don't have a shot of espresso right now, I am going to vomit."

Now imagine drinking the coffee but the fix isn't quelched yet. It's just constant. It doesn't get better at all. You just want that item in your body but you know if you break down, you have to start all over again.

And that's the shitty part. It's not like it's not going to get better but the thing I am having a hard time dealing with is realising that it's a waiting game. It's pretty much how long will it take me to get tired of fighting and just giving in because it doesn't get better with each new day. It just gets different. One day it's mental, the next it's physical. It's just a matter of how much energy I have to say "no".

That's why I'm scared. The first few days were cool because I thought it would be done with soon. Now I feel like it's going to be like this for a month or so. That's going to fucking suck if I have to go through this for 27 more days. I'd rather just start smoking again.

Meh, fuck it. I can beat this. I'll do it just because I'm a stubborn asshole and I like my car being ash-free as of late.

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Eigth Level of Hell - the Malebolge!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Very High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Very High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very High
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Very High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	High
Level 7 (Violent)	Very High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Very High

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

Paris Hilton's Macy's gift registry
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I told you so.

Sincerely,
JKREW

UGH. Fuck this shit. I need to get some gum or something.

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Good lord. So Saturday I decided it was time to quit. I hadn't had a smoke since friday night before bedtime so why the fuck not. I already had 8 free hours of smoke free time with my sleep so why not. It was ruining my relationship with kate and I suppose that is a good enough reason to quit. Plus there's the whole dying of cancer and stuff.

Anyways, I feel like I am still sleeping or have just woken up. I am mentally hazey and fuzzy. It's so hard to concentrate right now because I want one so badly. I always smoke at work. Always. Today is going to kick my ass. I fucking know it. I feel drunk right now. Honestly, thats how it feels. I feel like the buzz a cigarette gives you when you smoke for the first time.

Ugh. I hope I get through today. That's all I need. I was fine for 2 1/2 days. That's the longet I have ever gone before. I'm proud of myself even if it's less than 72 hours. If you haven't been a smoker for 12+ years you have NO idea what it's like.

I wish someone could just make a pill that can show people what it's like to go through withdrawl symptoms like this. No one would pick up smoking if they could do that. It's horrible what cigarette companies are doing when they full well know it's like this.

So everyone has told me I can expect to either cough or puke up all the tar in my lungs and then get sick as fuck for a week or so.

Man, sitting in my CRX 12 years ago with a pack of camel lights and "learning" to smoke was SUCH a good idea.

and finish this little reminder with


photo courtesy of maux

So I have figured out that the easiest way to get a goddamn mac mini for my car is to just do the free mac mini thing. Kate needs a puter too so if this works, she is gonna get the puter after show season so it helps us both.

Soooo... if you all sign up and complete an offer, I'll pay you whatever it costs to sign up via paypal plus some more for your time.

http://www.FreeMiniMacs.com/?r=14089147

I have found that some of the offers cost a dollar through yer credit card. Just do one of those, wait a week and then cancel the bastard once it credits my account. If ya do that, I'll paypal ya 20 bucks for your troubles.

I know this is ghey but it doesn't hurt to ask ya know?

*puts flame suit on