Fucking hell. Dinner and a three ringed circus wrapped into one. =)

So saturday, I test drove a Lexus. It was really soft inside and had dope acceleration. I swear I almost came it was so fast.

I definately will test drive it again. The lexus. Yeah.

Let's see, driving in MD today going about 50 and looky there, a freaking bump in the middle of the road the size of a freaking football. I couldn't swerve due to traffic, hit the thing dead on my passenger front tire, launch up and almost swerve into another car. The hit was so hard, my fucking ceiling light falls out slamming me in the face, my drivers window falls out of track and immedietly I feel the wobble of a 400$ bent rim.

I pull over and wouldn't ya know it? Fucking cracked control arm, my CV boot is split open like a pornstars Judy, shock is dead, spring is out of track, my fender well is resting on my fucking tire and now I think the shock mount is cracked as well.

Good times in MD. Two grand worth of damage in one day. Sweet. Will the fun ever start?

Fuck VW, I'm getting an STI for christmas.

Oh and women? Fuck them too. I'm going to be a monk starting tommorow.

I got 99 problems and a bitch ain't one.

Stupid thanksgiving. I'm bored out of my frickin' mind. Gonna go build a VW 16v duct-tape engine next.

are hypothetically pretty fucking cool and hypothetically making me smile my little white ass off this morning even though I'm working on maybe 2 hours sleep max.

Hypothetically speaking of course. *cough wink


Music this week fo yo ass:
Gwen Stefani's solo jonxt: Actually quite dope. Electro retro goodness. Go get it.
BB KIng live at Cook County Jail: a little too upbeat but still a classic.
Burnout 3 soundtrack: 40 tracks of currently trendy semi-non radio airplay tunes that are great to drive fast to. Not one bad track is in the set.
LL Cool J (walking with a panther and mama said knock you out): Brings back all those great memories of highschool and junior high you want to forget about.

workis4jerks: So we're going to this Art Directors Club bowling thing tonight...
... and just to be nice, Rick gets us all these Fz bowling shirts with our names embroidered on them...
workis4jerks: ... and after he's done handing them out, he goes...
"I'm expecting a big creaming tonight!"
JKREW: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
workis4jerks: I almost lost it.
JKREW: haha holy shit, if I didn't suck at design I'd ask for my job back
workis4jerks: Or that he was looking directly at me when he said it.. ha ha ha... oh, wait.... uh oh...
JKREW: oh god
did he wink at you and lick his lips?
workis4jerks: No, but his pants unzipped on their own.
JKREW: HAHAHAHAHA
and he looked down and smiled while it happened?
workis4jerks: No, that was Khoi.
JKREW: and his penis jumped out of the fly and shouted "BAAAABALOOOOOO!!!"
workis4jerks: HA HA HA!!!
JKREW: hahahahahahahahahahaha
workis4jerks: I'm having the most difficult time not bursting out in laughter.
JKREW: oh my god, we need to make a movie

you. Am I fooling myself? I mean I am the self declared king of repression. I rarely show emotion unless it counts. I don't go to funerals. I stay out of the hospital. I write people off instead of shedding a tear. I would rather befriend ex lovers than hate them for life or merely forget about them forever.

Why do I not care? And the fucked up thing is, it's easy for me not to care. It's easy for me to forget about everything and just see it at face value and be happy that I can talk to you without giving an everloving fuck that we had something that went down in a horrible firey eruption and took out a busload of orphans and nuns.

Gotta keep moving because if I stop, everything I am running from will catch up with me and beat the shit out of me until I implode. Fuck, I'm sounding emo. What the fuck did you do to make me be this way. I used to love and I used to be innocent and naive and now I don't give a shit about anything or anyone or even myself. I'm slowly killing myself and, honestly, I could care less of the outcome.

Thanks. I appreciate the kind gift of hatred and remorse you have given me. My trust is shot and I don't give a fuck. Happy reading.

EVER.

So I met this broad. She's fucking batty. But she's really chill. It's odd because we're totally courting but on an innocent level. I'm not looking for anything but am swooning the fact that we just sort of mesh well which is good and I sort of need that right now with all of the craziness cooling off from the summers past escapades. So anyways, here's to new beginnings and different roads.

Now the Sexy Sweater® is an odd thing. It's beginnings are unknown but from what I do know, it was created in some malasian sweatshop and shipped to the states and somewhere in between, it was given super powers. I purchased said Sexy Sweater® almost 4 years ago and as soon as the ex figured out it's powers, it was banned to the grim and dark jail that was the plastic underbed storage unit in my home until last night. I was cleaning up and came across the sweater and gave it freedom. I don't think I actually ever wore it outside until last night but times are different and it no longer has to feel the wrath of the evil one. It was warm and consoling and I could feel it's super powers meld with me. That's as far as I'll go with that one because I am rambling.

Now, somewhere off in the not too distant land of northern virginia at the same time, a group of my friends were on the highway enjoying some spirited driving if you will. They were pulled, had their plates taken, cars towed and given loads of points. Street racing was their crime. But on a highway? Surely that would just be wreckless right? Oh well, kids will be kids. So good luck to you if you read this folks.

What an interesting few weeks. Butterflies abound and drama everywhere. I have a headache. I want my thai leftovers. I want to sleep. To crawl back under my puffy goosedown comforter would be the fucking best right now.