I'm going to the dentist in 2.5 hours and I am starting to poop myself. Seriously. I have fecal matter in my underwear as I type this.

I LOATHE dentists. They hurt. Why do people pay money to these people to sit in an uncomfortable chair and get poked and scraped at by sharp metal instruments? Oof. So yeah, 2.5 hours. I may not return. It's going to hurt. And I will bleed. A LOT.

I haven't been to the dentist in over well, many years. Many. Not one or two. Many.

I blame no health insurance, my inability to make appointments and my general fear of dentists. I'm going to get a tooth filled in because my filling came out. Last year. hahaha whee!

I won't be surprised if they have to pull it. I shouldn'ty have waited this long to go but well, I have to pay the price now. I just don't want them to pull all of my teeth out.

It's so bad that the first thing I said to the dentist was the following conversation:

me: hi, is this doctor dodrill?
evil pain-giver: yes it is, how many I help you?
me: you really have the word "drill" in your name? That's pretty ironic eh?
evil pain-giver: yes, my parents sort of doomed me to this profession since birth.
me: wow, well, um. I hear from my office pals that you are a good dentist. I need some work done.
evil pain-giver: what kind of work will you be needing.
me: Lets just say that if you choose to help me out, you are going to earn your money.
evil pain-giver: *nervous laughter* Can you tell me in what location you are having problems? Is it the right side, left side...
me: *interupts* all
evil pain-giver: all?
me: yeah, all sides
evil pain-giver: wow. Can you come in tomorrow?


*sigh