jkrewdotcom: we have a major issue on our hands
herobynight: uh oh
don't we always?
jkrewdotcom: yeah so your girl started looking at wedding items and then asked my girl her opinion and that snowballed into her looking for gowns and now people have wedding fever.
we need some serious damage control and idea aversion STAT.
so what I need you to do is have sex with an incredibly obese woman or a chimp to change the subject at hand. I know this is going to be difficult but I have heard chimps can be very tender lovers.
herobynight: yeah, she's been looking into gowns and whatnot...I think she just wants stuff and to make a registry.
hmm
wouldn't it be more effective if I were to have some kind of relations with someone incredibly attractive?
jkrewdotcom: well you could, but I was saving that for me. I want to be a team player and if I really have to have sex with evangeline lily, I'd do it to help you out. But ONLY to help you out. i would be thinking about kate the entire time.
Damn this situation mike. Damn it to hell.
herobynight: listen, my friend, this IS a team, and neither of us must force the hand of the other in this rather dire set of circumstances...we'll tag team an attractive hooker- that way, we can close our eyes the entire time
and think of our girls, yet still play ball
jkrewdotcom: ok, I'll do it. I just don't want my balls anywhere near your balls. That would make the hooker tag-team thing totally weird to me.
herobynight: I understand, we can take different ends
jkrewdotcom: I want the one with the least std's! DIBS!
herobynight: anyway, we'll have our eyes closed, no balls will be seen.
we're tag teaming one, so we'll get the same stdless one
jkrewdotcom:ok fair enough. I think this decision is amicable.
Pick you up at 8?
herobynight: excellent...by the docks?.
jkrewdotcom: of course