My plans for the Lotto
If I win the 310 million dollar lottery tonight, this is what I plan to do with it:
310 million winnings
-210 million: Take out 100 for taking a lump sum
-110 million: 1/2 will go to taxes
-55 million: half to kate
So now I have 55 million duckets... What to do, what to do.
Invest in real estate ventures: 25 million
Twin turbo R32 engine swap in dara: 40k
Paying off every ounce of debt I own: 30k give or take a k
Hiring 1000 clowns to parachute into Times Square on a Friday at 5pm: 1 million
Having Nathan Kerrigan killed (he knows who he is): 30k
Cloning myself: 5 million
Hire Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie to sit in my living room and eat a container of crisco each: 1 million
Buy every company I have ever worked for and hated and then fire my asshole bosses and sell back the company: break even
Buy a zebra and break him so I can compete in horseshows: 20k
Have dinner with Evangeline Lilly and Johnny Depp (Kate would never let me have dinner with her alone so I have to hire Depp to keep her busy): 500k
A housefull of flowers so kate takes me back for having dinner with Evangeline Lilly: 50k
Pay to have JKREW added to the Oxford English dictionary: 5 million
Become a knight: 1 million
Plan an overpriced assassination plot for kate's sisters dog involving 3 pounds of plastique, a full SEAL and ranger team, 2 blackhawk helicopters, a plasma ray and one box of dog biscuits (small): 3 million
Follow my dreams to become a classically trained ninja: 1 million
Yeah, that should pretty much make me the happiest person alive.
*crosses fingers
310 million winnings
-210 million: Take out 100 for taking a lump sum
-110 million: 1/2 will go to taxes
-55 million: half to kate
So now I have 55 million duckets... What to do, what to do.
Invest in real estate ventures: 25 million
Twin turbo R32 engine swap in dara: 40k
Paying off every ounce of debt I own: 30k give or take a k
Hiring 1000 clowns to parachute into Times Square on a Friday at 5pm: 1 million
Having Nathan Kerrigan killed (he knows who he is): 30k
Cloning myself: 5 million
Hire Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie to sit in my living room and eat a container of crisco each: 1 million
Buy every company I have ever worked for and hated and then fire my asshole bosses and sell back the company: break even
Buy a zebra and break him so I can compete in horseshows: 20k
Have dinner with Evangeline Lilly and Johnny Depp (Kate would never let me have dinner with her alone so I have to hire Depp to keep her busy): 500k
A housefull of flowers so kate takes me back for having dinner with Evangeline Lilly: 50k
Pay to have JKREW added to the Oxford English dictionary: 5 million
Become a knight: 1 million
Plan an overpriced assassination plot for kate's sisters dog involving 3 pounds of plastique, a full SEAL and ranger team, 2 blackhawk helicopters, a plasma ray and one box of dog biscuits (small): 3 million
Follow my dreams to become a classically trained ninja: 1 million
Yeah, that should pretty much make me the happiest person alive.
*crosses fingers
- Tuesday, November 15, 2005 at 4:12 PM
- Posted by JKREW
- 4 Comments
hahahahhahahahhahahahahhahahhahaha
...can I trade in johnny depp for jake however you pronounce his last name?
i wont ask for money, im not that kind of friend... but i do want one of those pens when you turn it upside down the bikini falls off the neked girl... will you get me one of those?
I can make the assination team happen for like 150K, plus beer money.
I would have thought for sure you'd have had "Reanimate the corpse of Rick James for the celebration party"... maybe thats just what i'd do... couldn't cost that much, though, just wave a few pounds of Crack in front of him...