I used to think I absolutely hated the winter because it was gloomy and dark and depressing which is true, that bums me out a lot. But now I think I have it figured out. I hate the holidays. Fuck the holidays. It all goes to shit after halloween. September is dope because I get to go to H20 (dub show in Ocean City) and then it's my birthday which I could care less about and then pumpkin patches with my baby (which has probably been the highlight of the past 2 months). But after that, it sucks a big black throbbing cock.

I hate Thanksgiving. I hate having to go to dinner with people I have no social similarities with. I hate sitting there waiting to leave. I hate being the ONLY person in the 20-40 range at the table. Do you people not understand or grasp the concept or even notice that every year I NEVER join the conversation with you all? It's because I have nothing to add. I'm not even in your age group. I don't listen to Celine or Babs. I don't have a 401(k) or a mortgage. I don't have a mother who is sick or in a home. I don't enjoy sitting at a table fullof baby boomers who slowly get drunk.

I hate giving the fake smile and I ABSOLUTELY HATE the fake laugh. You know the one, where the drunk *insert name here* stumbles up to you and gets maybe 3 pussy hairs away from your face and thinks he's god damn Jerry Seinfeld and you give that fake nod and the even faker laugh and hope to holy hell he shuts the fuck up long enough for you to run to the kitchen.

Then, because no one would be caught dead changing "tradition", you have to go to another house because no one would come to yours. I mean fuck, although you are the one running around all over town like a circus pony catering to everyone else, god forbid people came to you once in awhile.

I wish I could just be with kate away from EVERYONE. We could make dinner, relax, and actually enjoy the holiday for once. But you can't do that because the holidays are a time for family to get together. My family is so bastardized, I don't even know what a proper one is anymore.

What else can I bitch about. Work is going well, the hours can eat a dick. Whatever, I'm paying my dues. Again. It's now 9 pm, I got home 30 minutes ago. I walked the dog and finished some freelance. I have yet to eat and when I do, it will be 10 pm. I'll have maybe 30 minutes of rest before I go to bed. And do it all over again.

This is no way for someone to live. I am supposed to be making extra money to pay off my debt but how can you do that if you have no time to breathe?

Fuck the holidays man. I have threatened myself that "next year, you won't leave the house" yet that year never comes. Because family is family and even though you see it as a punishment, you always have to tell yourself that 90% of the world sees it that way too. At least I can take some comfort in that.

So dear readers, join me in the toast: Yes the holidays can suck but that's why they are so spaced out throughout the year. It's done that way because by the time a year has passed, you have forgotten how much last year ate a bag of dicks.

Saluth.

p.s. Let's say a little prayer for Bubba Sparxxx, Alicia Silverstone and Fred Savage. I hope they had a net when the fell off the face of the planet.