workis4jerks: I was hanging out at Galaxy Hut last night, and ran into a couple of friends of mine who I've played music with a couple of times, and one of them started talking about this new musical project idea he came up with that he thinks we should try...
... and he starts joking around about how great it will be...
JKREW: *prepares self
workis4jerks: ... how people will uncontrollably crap their pants...
... and soak their panties...
JKREW: steady...... steady
workis4jerks: ... and other such female-magnet-type retardedness...
JKREW: stay on target...
workis4jerks: and keep in mind one of these guys is a pudgy-ish asian kid who's balding...
... and the other is a big-and-tall dude, also balding...
JKREW: slowly losing interest...
*looks at shiny object on floor
workis4jerks: ... and at one point he goes "we're gonna get all the ladies, man (still joking)...
.... and the other guy goes, without any sarcasm, "Are you kidding? Look at us!"
"Us."
JKREW: HAHAHAHAHAHA
workis4jerks: Fuck.
JKREW: that's awesome
workis4jerks: Yeah, really awesome.
JKREW: yeah well beat this... I was at my grandmothers wake and the oldest guy there comes up to me, rubs my stomach and goes "Hmmm, letting yerself go Jason? Better not let kate go because who knows what you could get if she did."
workis4jerks: Wow.
JKREW: Yeah, so after putting the spoon back into the can of Crisco, I politely walked into the bathroom to cry for 15 minutes.
workis4jerks: No way. You know you took the Crisco with you. Don't lie.
JKREW: *weeps
Yes, you're right.
workis4jerks: You just made it saltier.
With  tears.
JKREW: hahahahaha I mean *cries