I give up. For real this time. No, I'm serious.
Ok, well, I want to vent. This is going to be bad because it's probably going to piss off some people. I'm probably going to regret this later. *sigh
I go out with a girl. She is nice. She makes me happy. She is a great girl. Her family sucks though. They are from Crazy Town.
Ok, let me try to make this a little more constructive and ordered. I'm 28. Albeit I act like a teenager 95% of the time by my own choice, I am still an adult (grumble). I live on my own. I have a 401k and a mortgage and a dog that depends on me to keep him fed and healthy.
When I was a teen, my mother was the only one who raised me. If I wanted to go to a rave (yes it was called a rave back then. We didn't have clubs and big DJ's, we took over abandoned warehouses in the dark) I would tell my mom that I was going to a dark building with my best friend sean and we would be back at sunrise. I would always return safe and sound. I would never do drugs or drink at these parties and I think my mom knew it. She raised me correctly. She told me the upsides and downsides to everything. Drugs are bad, respect women, be as honest as possible, always try to do right. She wasn't a bad mother per say because who in their right mind would let their children out to these things, she just trusted me and I in turn treated her with respect. She was not only my mom, but her way of raising me made me see her as a bestfriend as well.
Trust. That's such a big issue too. That issue is fucking up my life at the moment. My girlfriend's parents don't trust their children as far as they can throw them. Let me try to break it down for the laymen because it could be a great sitcom one day...
Mom and dad are devout catholics. You can't beat a God-fearing couple as a great base for a television show. The mother swings the cock in the house and if momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. Dad enforces the law but would someday like to have his cock back that his wife holds up in a 12" thick vault. Mom is a full time wife. She gets to do nothing just as long as she takes care of the family. This is all she knows. This makes her extremely dangerous because she is as naive as they come. The father busts his ass, pays for everything and in turn gets to make the rules. I respect this in a sense (a very small sense) but he rules with an iron fist of indifference and misunderstanding.
Now, the spawn.
Older brother 25ish; no street smarts whatsoever. Possibly a closet homosexual but is probably just confused due to his outspoken and sheltered upbringing. Think... videogame nerd. To the extreme. There is not much to this guy because he flys waaay under the radar. Really nice guy, just quiet.
Older sister 25ish; High and mighty syndrome. This one thinks she is above it all and rules do not apply because she is not a child anymore. She understands her parents but also has her own views and of course, they are the right ones. She has appointed herself to parent her siblings because of her self-taught worldly views and opinions. She is also a rat when things don't go her way. If anyone else in her sibling circle is happy, she will do everything in her ability to make sure they are not happy. She is just waiting for marriage so she can pop out some kids and then recreate the way of life her mother is so accustomed to.
Younger brother 18ish; I feel bad for this little guy. You know how it is... 18 years old and itching to just get the fuck out of the house. I know exactly how he feels and I pity him even more by seeing what kind of shit he has to deal with. His parents don't approve of his girlfriend for reasons God only knows. I think one reason was "she's a money grubber". This coming from a mother who gets a clothing allowance but I digress... Anyways, poor younger brother has decided to go behind his parents backs to see his girlfriend. I encourage this. Why would any parent in their right mind know what is best for their children when they are 18? Nothing is right for a child when they are 18. When you are 18, you have to fuck up to know what not to do. It's all part of growing up. So anyways, I highly condone his actions of lying, cheating and stealing to see his girlfriend. I did it along with every other boy in the world at the age of 18. Good for him. They won't end up together but what the fuck? If you're 18, you are just seeing what the world can offer you. Go out and get it and try not to die or get locked up along the way. The main point I want to make with this guy is that he is lying because his parents are making him lie. You will never control an 18 year old boy by force. NEVER. You can only hope to guide him along the way of his precarious upper-teen years by giving him good advice and support. This is the age when you think you can make your own decisions. No amount of sheltering is going to stop an 18 year old from trying to think for himself.
Now, for the middle sister and my current girlfriend 21ish; she is the pretty daughter. No offense to the other daughter but it's true and also leads me to my point. The parents see her as the pretty one so she is obviously going to get into the most trouble with boys and drugs and everything else pretty girls get into. She is 21 years old. A legal adult in every part of the globe. But of course, because she lives under her parents roof, she has to play by their rules. She can't touch a boy in their house. She can't spend the night at anyones house. She has to go to church every sunday even though she hates it and is vocal about hating it. She lies to her parents for me.
I am now officially back in high school. Her father called me today to just "understand his position". His older daughter can go across the globe to fuck some stranger she met on the internet but his younger daughter can't stay in a hotel room on a roadtrip with her boyfriend of six months. So now I am equated to the third parent. I have to respect the daughter but also play by the rules of the household I so fondly have grown to hate with every ounce of my being. So let me recap. I am no longer the boyfriend. I am now being asked to be the father. I have to try to make a relationship work in the year 2005 but still act like it's 1965. I have to forget that I went out with a woman for 8 years, had her live with me, almost marry me and now go out with someone who's parents are real-deal characters from Leave it to Beaver.
Try to respect and understand the fact that I want to do boyfriend things, not parent things. How cold and unfair is it for a father to ask his daughters boyfriend to "try to see it his way". Of course I'm going to "see it your way" man but what the fuck? Why do you have to ask me repeatedly. Maybe there is a reason you have to call me to talk your daughter into respecting you. Maybe it's because she doesn't respect you. Don't feel we have that kind of relationship where I will suicide-bomb my relationship with your daughter just to make you happy. I'm not going to make her do anything but if she does something you don't like, it's getting really REALLY easy for me to look the other way while she does it. Don't push me out of this little "circle of trust" I'm already in with you just to live up to your ideals. I'm my own man and I will make my own decisions because I have the benefit of not being in your family.
As the world turns. Always a drama-filled day in the life of JKREW. I keep getting older but the shit stays the same. I am officially back in highschool.
I go out with a girl. She is nice. She makes me happy. She is a great girl. Her family sucks though. They are from Crazy Town.
Ok, let me try to make this a little more constructive and ordered. I'm 28. Albeit I act like a teenager 95% of the time by my own choice, I am still an adult (grumble). I live on my own. I have a 401k and a mortgage and a dog that depends on me to keep him fed and healthy.
When I was a teen, my mother was the only one who raised me. If I wanted to go to a rave (yes it was called a rave back then. We didn't have clubs and big DJ's, we took over abandoned warehouses in the dark) I would tell my mom that I was going to a dark building with my best friend sean and we would be back at sunrise. I would always return safe and sound. I would never do drugs or drink at these parties and I think my mom knew it. She raised me correctly. She told me the upsides and downsides to everything. Drugs are bad, respect women, be as honest as possible, always try to do right. She wasn't a bad mother per say because who in their right mind would let their children out to these things, she just trusted me and I in turn treated her with respect. She was not only my mom, but her way of raising me made me see her as a bestfriend as well.
Trust. That's such a big issue too. That issue is fucking up my life at the moment. My girlfriend's parents don't trust their children as far as they can throw them. Let me try to break it down for the laymen because it could be a great sitcom one day...
Mom and dad are devout catholics. You can't beat a God-fearing couple as a great base for a television show. The mother swings the cock in the house and if momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. Dad enforces the law but would someday like to have his cock back that his wife holds up in a 12" thick vault. Mom is a full time wife. She gets to do nothing just as long as she takes care of the family. This is all she knows. This makes her extremely dangerous because she is as naive as they come. The father busts his ass, pays for everything and in turn gets to make the rules. I respect this in a sense (a very small sense) but he rules with an iron fist of indifference and misunderstanding.
Now, the spawn.
Older brother 25ish; no street smarts whatsoever. Possibly a closet homosexual but is probably just confused due to his outspoken and sheltered upbringing. Think... videogame nerd. To the extreme. There is not much to this guy because he flys waaay under the radar. Really nice guy, just quiet.
Older sister 25ish; High and mighty syndrome. This one thinks she is above it all and rules do not apply because she is not a child anymore. She understands her parents but also has her own views and of course, they are the right ones. She has appointed herself to parent her siblings because of her self-taught worldly views and opinions. She is also a rat when things don't go her way. If anyone else in her sibling circle is happy, she will do everything in her ability to make sure they are not happy. She is just waiting for marriage so she can pop out some kids and then recreate the way of life her mother is so accustomed to.
Younger brother 18ish; I feel bad for this little guy. You know how it is... 18 years old and itching to just get the fuck out of the house. I know exactly how he feels and I pity him even more by seeing what kind of shit he has to deal with. His parents don't approve of his girlfriend for reasons God only knows. I think one reason was "she's a money grubber". This coming from a mother who gets a clothing allowance but I digress... Anyways, poor younger brother has decided to go behind his parents backs to see his girlfriend. I encourage this. Why would any parent in their right mind know what is best for their children when they are 18? Nothing is right for a child when they are 18. When you are 18, you have to fuck up to know what not to do. It's all part of growing up. So anyways, I highly condone his actions of lying, cheating and stealing to see his girlfriend. I did it along with every other boy in the world at the age of 18. Good for him. They won't end up together but what the fuck? If you're 18, you are just seeing what the world can offer you. Go out and get it and try not to die or get locked up along the way. The main point I want to make with this guy is that he is lying because his parents are making him lie. You will never control an 18 year old boy by force. NEVER. You can only hope to guide him along the way of his precarious upper-teen years by giving him good advice and support. This is the age when you think you can make your own decisions. No amount of sheltering is going to stop an 18 year old from trying to think for himself.
Now, for the middle sister and my current girlfriend 21ish; she is the pretty daughter. No offense to the other daughter but it's true and also leads me to my point. The parents see her as the pretty one so she is obviously going to get into the most trouble with boys and drugs and everything else pretty girls get into. She is 21 years old. A legal adult in every part of the globe. But of course, because she lives under her parents roof, she has to play by their rules. She can't touch a boy in their house. She can't spend the night at anyones house. She has to go to church every sunday even though she hates it and is vocal about hating it. She lies to her parents for me.
I am now officially back in high school. Her father called me today to just "understand his position". His older daughter can go across the globe to fuck some stranger she met on the internet but his younger daughter can't stay in a hotel room on a roadtrip with her boyfriend of six months. So now I am equated to the third parent. I have to respect the daughter but also play by the rules of the household I so fondly have grown to hate with every ounce of my being. So let me recap. I am no longer the boyfriend. I am now being asked to be the father. I have to try to make a relationship work in the year 2005 but still act like it's 1965. I have to forget that I went out with a woman for 8 years, had her live with me, almost marry me and now go out with someone who's parents are real-deal characters from Leave it to Beaver.
Try to respect and understand the fact that I want to do boyfriend things, not parent things. How cold and unfair is it for a father to ask his daughters boyfriend to "try to see it his way". Of course I'm going to "see it your way" man but what the fuck? Why do you have to ask me repeatedly. Maybe there is a reason you have to call me to talk your daughter into respecting you. Maybe it's because she doesn't respect you. Don't feel we have that kind of relationship where I will suicide-bomb my relationship with your daughter just to make you happy. I'm not going to make her do anything but if she does something you don't like, it's getting really REALLY easy for me to look the other way while she does it. Don't push me out of this little "circle of trust" I'm already in with you just to live up to your ideals. I'm my own man and I will make my own decisions because I have the benefit of not being in your family.
As the world turns. Always a drama-filled day in the life of JKREW. I keep getting older but the shit stays the same. I am officially back in highschool.
- Tuesday, July 12, 2005 at 9:50 AM
- Posted by JKREW
- 3 Comments
highschool sucks.
having been in your girlfriend's shoes before, i can totally relate. there were SO many fights in my house in regards to whom i saw and when i saw them and where i was going... it was awful. lots of tears and shouting and wastes of time and silliness.
i hope that it takes less work than it did for me... but it seems you guys are stuck dealing with it until she is able to afford to move out on her own. :/
good luck...
Read your stuff. Character is everything...so live the character you wish to be and damn the torpedos...full speed ahead.
Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself and that includes Kate's father. Be cool about it but state your case calmly and thoughtfully. It can't hurt.
As for life...you get out of life what you put into it. EXAMPLE: You can't keep withdrawing money and expect to have much left. Try to deposit something back into the account (so to speak) and see if you don't feel better. Sounds crazy but it usually works.
Last piece of advice: everyone needs a parachute. What's yours? Not sure R U? Spend some time finding out what yours is.
Best of luck
Jaysmom
Cheer up Jason, younger daughter will be out of the house eventually.
-Cat