Kate and I were off to go to Baltimore yesterday and it all started out fine and what not. We had breakfast and started driving when all of a sudden I got really nauseous. We decided to make a change of plans and head to Ikea in college park instead which had lots of nice AC to deal with. We get in, I feel like death and maybe 2 minutes after going inside, I get dizzy as hell and feel like I'm going to pass out or boot. I pretty much run to the bathroom to boot and expect it all to get better but it doesn't. I still feel really dizzy and sick so we decided to go home.

I felt horrible for making her turn around but I knew I wouldn't last another 5 minutes in the store. We drive home and I sleep the entire way there. And for the rest of the afternoon, we sat there on the couch watching pimp my ride and slowly dying. Her stomach was upset and I felt like I would fall down if I got up.

I don't like feeling sick anymore. I don't notice it because I guess I'm so used to it but I am sick more often than not. I am too young to feel this way. I am so frustrated now with how I feel as of late. I shouldn't be this way. I quit smoking to feel better and I am now even worse. I am fucking falling apart and am starting to worry if it is something even worse than just being sick. I don't want to think about it too much but it's always in the back of my mind now.

I'm 3 weeks clean with cigarettes. Last night I decided not to drink anymore. That's the last hurdle I have on a road to getting healthier. I don't know how it will be because I am weak but I'll find out I guess.

I really pray to God I'm not dying. I just want to get better and be healthy.