What does being a failure mean? Does it mean just sucking at one's life? Being a quitter? What if trying your best and still failing arises? Does that really make you a failure or was it just not in the cards for you at that moment.

I have had plenty of slacker friends. The ones who would rather smoke a bowl and sit on the couch than go out and be productive. Ones that are happy being in a dead end job and not going out to better things. Or going out and doing better things to only suck at what they do and going on to more things to suck at.

Stoner Dave quit smoking. Like, cold turkey, out of the blue quit. I love him for it because I have the self control of a cat in heat and am terrified to quit because part of me knows I will fail. Anyways, stoner dave was given a pack of cigars by his "friend". Now I use the finger quotes in this story because sure, he is his friend. He is just dumb sometimes. Maybe he can't help it. I certainly am a dickhead too but I digress. He is dumb enough for me to want to punch him in the jugular. So, I hear of said gift and start searching for it in Stoner Dave's house. I'm sort of his self-appointed watchdog cancer nazi. I don't care what anyone says, thats the job I gave myself and I'm one dedicated motherfucker. I find the cigars in his pocket (don't ask) and proceed to throw them off the balcony. Everyone gets pissed. Well, ok, Stoner Dave's friend gets pissed and of course I couldn't care less. Just to solidify my intent on guarding SD's lungs and keep him from starting up and making drunken excuses on how "you don't inhale that dude" kind of bullshit, I proceeded to find my pyrotechnics, walked out on the golfcourse and blew the cigars up with one flick of the Bic and a smartly placed pack of lady fingers.

Where was I going with this? Oh yeah. Anyways, SD quit. His friend did not. Why did his friend buy SD the cigars? Because his friend can't quit/doesn't want to quit et al and want's SD back on the dark side. Misery loves company blah blah blah. I won't get into how fucked up it was because I'm done dwelling on it but yeah. Anyways. SD get's the thumbsup. And when he feels weak, I will be there to lay down the explosive justice on his candy ass.

Now, on the topic of being a failure. When you try your best to makes plays to better yourself and it doesn't work out, fuck it, at least you tried. If you can honestly tell yourself that you did all you could then you shouldn't be ashamed or sad. Well, you can be sad because that's healthy but don't dwell on it and let it be your stumbling block that you can't get over to improve and move on.

You know who you are and you know I love you. Shit always happens for a reason. You know how I think the world of you and you (and I won't let you stumble) need to see this as just something that didn't work out. I mean, when I wanted to be an astronaut, NASA politely told me that I wouldn't cut it in the space program, so what did I do? I trained my ass off. I ran 100 miles a day and swam 5000 meters every night. And after 2 years of determined training, I finally got my spot to go to the moon. I won't go into details because the news covered it so much already but I hope you see my point. Look to me as a role model who reached his dreams of one day masturbating in zero gravity. I had a dream, stayed on course and achieved it. You can too.

Oh and that movie White Noise is scary as fuck. That is all.