Friends suck. I bet everyone who reads this can relate to a friend that they had at one time who is like the one I am about to write about. The friend who was like OMG BEST FRIENDS 4EVR LOL OMG! And you hang out with said friend all the time and you're all up their ass and dish all this shit to each other full well knowing that they are the coolest person on the planet.

Right?

And then it happens. The friend starts going to lunch with someone else or they get a boyfriend/girlfriend and start hanging out with them a little more often than they do with you. And then that friend starts blowing everyone off and fucking up left and right. Yeah. WTF.

Said friend reads my blog. I plan on her to be pissed but you know what? If you haven't figured out by now, I live by the "say what the fuck you want rule, however inappropriate it may be and how many bridges you may burn along the way because it feels good at the moment" way of life.

*clears throat

Dear Friend,

Wake the fuck up dude. You are fucking up all over town. I'm quite happy for you and Cokey McSnortalot and the little lovage nest you two have created for each other but for fucks sake, wake up. You are ditching every single one of your friends for "your busy life" and people are starting to, if not having done already, written you off.

You were too busy for school so you dropped out. For the second time. Smart.
You were too busy for homegrown so you ditched all of them. Smart.
You were too preoccupied to live up to EVERY single one of your promises to me and let me down EVERY single time. Smart.

And now you have a black eye. I'm not going to pass judgement because I said I wouldn't but if it did happen the way everyone thinks it did based on your bullshit story, you are fucking stupid to get into ANOTHER lovely smack-down relationship.

I defended you, I put my life on hold for you, I put my financial status in jeopardy for you. I relied on you. Not anymore.

This is me writing you off. Have fun fucking up your life.

Sincerely,
JKREW


And on another note. When polled, it's almost startling how many members of the male population do not trim their shit. Jesus Tapdancing Christ fellas, trim the hedges. Nobody want to take a trip through the jungle. You certainly wouldn't like it if the missus dropped her pantaloons to reveal a serious case of afro bush. Kim Cattrall said it even makes your dick look bigger and if Kim said it, it has to be right.