remember roughly four years ago when we went into your room to grab a blanket because it was a little cold in the main room. lily and stoner dave waiting for us to return so we could continue watching silence of the lambs. we were nestled together on the love seat trying to remain silent despite the little game we were playing that shouted of blushes, gasps, and giggles.

"how about now? how many now?" we were asking of butterflies fluttering amidst the acids sloshing around, digesting whatever it was we had had for dinner earlier that night.

...not nearly as many as I have now.


remember a year and two days ago? obviously you do as we just spoke about it. you remembered the day exactly while I remember the moment exactly. somehow. I'd managed to nab a car and come over for a movie. offered a glass of wine, I accepted water, and you sipped what I'm guessing was pinot grigio. I'd heard the reviews, lost in translation should be an amazing movie. I found it to be very confusing. what little of it that I actually saw.
see, I was distracted by my slight addiction. it fits perfectly in a pocket or a small bag. it's not messy in the least. pop the cap off, gently roll it along your lips. wait for the tingle and smile as you feel completely refreshed.
"want to know a cool trick about this stuff?"
"what's that?" your glass of wine was still half full.
"an odd tingling sensation overcomes your lips... want to try some?"
"uh. ok" I'd have thought you'd reach out a hand for me to place in it my tube of chapstick. instead I found myself leaning into you, burts beeswax now quite thoroughly covering your lips and ceasing to exist altogether in the moment.
at the time I had a feeling I didn't understand but I went with it. kind of hard to ignore something that has you at its mercy.

it just took a few more "taste tests" to decide we both liked what we were trying and thought we'd try out a trial version of the real thing.


remember when you came down to that city you understandably loath so much. the city drowning in the fighting within the scene. everyone there who wasn't originally from there becomes worn down by the day to day battle. become jaded and discontent with who they were upon arrival and find themselves to be a muddy, unhappy, pissed off, pessimistic version of who they once thought themselves to be. despite all this you set aside your fear for yourself and dara and made the trek. everyone I knew who was going to be there knew my boo was coming with me. everyone who knew was a bit confused, boo equals boyfriend, in our case, not just yet. jealousy turned to drama waiting to unfold so we flew the coop. smelly and exhausted, you should've hopped in. I wouldn't have stopped you and neither would a closed door. I never realized my bed is as small as it really is until I woke in extreme confusion to find you laying on the floor trying to sleep.
"wha--? what the hell? what are you doing on the floor!" despite my speech slurred by sleep you sat up innocently and also extremely confused.
"you kept pushing me against the wall so I asked if you wanted me to sleep on the floor and you nodded yes and mumbled something." then, I started to slowly realize...
"don't sleep on the floor! get back in bed... you can't sleep on the flo..." and I'd fallen back asleep.

to wake to you.

remember when we got to tuck each other in at night?

yeah me neither. but man, I can't wait until I do.