I don't know what it is. Maybe it's the turning of the seasons or that daylight savings time is soon upon us but something is in the air. Every single human being with a vagina in my life is going cookoo as of late.
I'll try to explain... for the past week, my mom and I have been talking lately. A LOT. More than in the past at least and she has taken it upon herself to give me advice about my girlfriend which is both good and bad. In doing so, she brings up comparisons of my last long-term girlfriend and it bugs me out. She means well but it hurts a little but god bless her, she gives good advice and I'm glad I have her. My mom talks just like me. We have an enormous love for cutting people off mid conversation or cockblocking them all together. I got it from her so I can't give her any shit but when we get into conversations over the phone, it's like trying to put two magnets together and the convo is pretty much "blah blah blah BUT I blah blah blah BUT blah blah blah YOU SEE THE blah blah blah" etc.
Anyways, that was a bad example, forget I said any of that. She's not that batty. Well, not battier than her son.
I come home last night after getting a new hood for my car. Stoner Dave is unfortunately out of town and I need someone to hold the damn flashlight while I put my hood on. Of course I go to the next solution being that my dog doesn't have thumbs, I go downstairs and ask the 20-something girl to help me out. She's a cool girl. 26ish and living with a 36ish woman. She often acts older than she is due to her roommate but deep down inside, I know she is still crazy trying not to mature by boozing it up, going out etc etc. I walk into her house and her ex boyfriend is there. I didn't want to interrupt but needed her help, I asked for her assistance. She said she would be down in 2 minutes so I go outside and prep my car and wait for her. Finally, she comes running out and I notice that she is all dressed up in cute-mode and she's rolling her eyes as she walks towards me. She tells me that the guy dumped her a week ago for unknown reasons and he is just coming over to "talk and get back his stuff" so her plan is to look really good, cook him a great dinner, show him what he is missing, hopefully get back with him just so she can break up with him.
Ok, I'll bold that for you readers... She wants to get back with him just so she can break up with him. Yes, it was a Seinfeld episode folks but I now have proof that it's true in vagina-land. Wow. Um, ok. She hated this dude a month ago, wouldn't put out for him and wanted to dump him but now that he made the pre-emptive dump making her the dumpee, she want to change that, become the girlfriend again and then turn tables to be the dumper. WTF? I tell her she's crazy, finish my hood and watch as she runs back to her condo.
Next vagina. This one will be short.
She's pretty much my best friend, just became single, told me she didn't want to ever date anyone for awhile and then randomly hooked up with someone and is now his girlfriend without the label. Oh and then she duffed me re: being my roommate. Yeah, you know who you are. I hate you. We still on for lunch today? *does call me hand gesture
Lastly, ohhhhh kate. You're batty. Nuttier than a fruitcake. You think too much. Stop. It's going to give you ulcers on top of ulcers. I'm not even going to get into it here but maybe we can try to talk about it over a beer or eight. Stop thinking. Everything is ok. No worries. It's cool. No problems. No emergency.
Man, this blog sucked. My bad. I'll try harder tomorrow.
I'll try to explain... for the past week, my mom and I have been talking lately. A LOT. More than in the past at least and she has taken it upon herself to give me advice about my girlfriend which is both good and bad. In doing so, she brings up comparisons of my last long-term girlfriend and it bugs me out. She means well but it hurts a little but god bless her, she gives good advice and I'm glad I have her. My mom talks just like me. We have an enormous love for cutting people off mid conversation or cockblocking them all together. I got it from her so I can't give her any shit but when we get into conversations over the phone, it's like trying to put two magnets together and the convo is pretty much "blah blah blah BUT I blah blah blah BUT blah blah blah YOU SEE THE blah blah blah" etc.
Anyways, that was a bad example, forget I said any of that. She's not that batty. Well, not battier than her son.
I come home last night after getting a new hood for my car. Stoner Dave is unfortunately out of town and I need someone to hold the damn flashlight while I put my hood on. Of course I go to the next solution being that my dog doesn't have thumbs, I go downstairs and ask the 20-something girl to help me out. She's a cool girl. 26ish and living with a 36ish woman. She often acts older than she is due to her roommate but deep down inside, I know she is still crazy trying not to mature by boozing it up, going out etc etc. I walk into her house and her ex boyfriend is there. I didn't want to interrupt but needed her help, I asked for her assistance. She said she would be down in 2 minutes so I go outside and prep my car and wait for her. Finally, she comes running out and I notice that she is all dressed up in cute-mode and she's rolling her eyes as she walks towards me. She tells me that the guy dumped her a week ago for unknown reasons and he is just coming over to "talk and get back his stuff" so her plan is to look really good, cook him a great dinner, show him what he is missing, hopefully get back with him just so she can break up with him.
Ok, I'll bold that for you readers... She wants to get back with him just so she can break up with him. Yes, it was a Seinfeld episode folks but I now have proof that it's true in vagina-land. Wow. Um, ok. She hated this dude a month ago, wouldn't put out for him and wanted to dump him but now that he made the pre-emptive dump making her the dumpee, she want to change that, become the girlfriend again and then turn tables to be the dumper. WTF? I tell her she's crazy, finish my hood and watch as she runs back to her condo.
Next vagina. This one will be short.
She's pretty much my best friend, just became single, told me she didn't want to ever date anyone for awhile and then randomly hooked up with someone and is now his girlfriend without the label. Oh and then she duffed me re: being my roommate. Yeah, you know who you are. I hate you. We still on for lunch today? *does call me hand gesture
Lastly, ohhhhh kate. You're batty. Nuttier than a fruitcake. You think too much. Stop. It's going to give you ulcers on top of ulcers. I'm not even going to get into it here but maybe we can try to talk about it over a beer or eight. Stop thinking. Everything is ok. No worries. It's cool. No problems. No emergency.
Man, this blog sucked. My bad. I'll try harder tomorrow.
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